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Post by PTMidnite on Sept 16, 2003 15:56:09 GMT -5
(Brock Lesnar stands outside the WCW Halloween Havoc haunted house, a Ku Klax Klan member walks up to him) Brock: Ghost! Rocker: (takes off hood to reveal John Rocker) I'm not a ghost. Do you know which way New York is? Brock: No. Rock: Crap. (Rocker leaves, Brock enter the house and is transported to Midcard Hell, think if yearly 90s WCW production team designed hell, a real ghost comes up to Lesnar) Brock: Let's see who you are. (Brock rips the ghost's head off and his body falls to the ground twitching, Brock looks around and then tries to put the head back on, cut to Al Wilson and Brock Lesnar standing in front of Steve Austin's infernal castle of fear) Brock: I got to see Steve Austin. Wilson: No one can meet him unless they first pass three tests. Brock: I didn't even get a chance to study. Wilson: Not a school test dummy. The first test is to make HHH job. (Brock falls on his back) That's not a good start. TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by PTMidnite on Sept 16, 2003 15:57:31 GMT -5
(Brock walks sheepishly up to HHH who is on a folding chair reading Highlights magazine for children) HHH: Why do these "what's different in this picture" have to be so damn hard. Brock: Mr. H , I kinda need you to let me pin you. HHH: (looks up from the mag) Oh, you want to meet with Steve. Sorry, buddy I don't job for anyone. (Lesnar falls on his back) Heh heh heh, that's real funny. Brock: (gets up) No it ain't. HHH: I said I wouldn't job to you and you went down for the three. (Brock falls again) Heh heh heh. Brock: (gets up again) Stop that! HHH: I won't job. (Brock falls and HHH falls over laughing, he's on his back, Brock jumps on him) Brock: One two three. HHH: God damn it! (Brock gets up and HHH walks away with his head down, Al Wilson shows back up) Wilson: Now you must out rap John Cena. Brock: Crapizzle my nizzle. TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by PTMidnite on Sept 16, 2003 16:00:11 GMT -5
(Brock and Cena are standing alone) Brock: Hi, again. Cena: You the fool that sent me here. Brock: I'll kill you more if you even think of trying in this rap off. (Al walks in) Wilson: Now begin. Cena: Uh…….word life. Brock: I like rice, it is nice. Wilson: You win Mr. Lesnar. Now you must finish the last task: dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. (a pale blue light shines down as Vince McMahon enters) Vince: I lead. Brock: I ain't dancing with no dude. Wilson: You have to. Brock: Crap. (Vince and Brock horribly dance the tango, afterward Brock F-5s him) Wilson: You may now see Stone Cold Steve Austin. TO BE CONTINUED (inside Austin's castle, Austin is sitting on a pile of beer bottles) Brock: Ok rum dum, train me. Austin: Are you sassing me boy? Brock: (looks nervous and starts poking his index fingers together) I don't actually know what sass is. Austin: It's what's coming right out of your mealy little mouth. Brock: (wipes his mouth with the back of his hand) My mouth's what? Austin: I can see you staring at me with those two beady eyes of yours. You're thinking "I want Stone Cold to teach me how to stomp a mud hole in someone's ass". Uh Uh. Old Stone Cold took his ball and went home a long time ago and no even a spider in a cowboy hat is gonna make me do nothing but sit here and drink. Brock: I can't believe I had to do all those stupid tasks just to listen to this has-been. Austin: What tasks? Brock: Al Wilson made me perform three tasks so I could see you. Austin: (laughs like a jackass) You dumb son of a bitch. You could have just walked straight up here. Al was just pulling your stumpy leg. Brock: I'll be right back. (Brock leaves) Wilson: (off screen) My ass! You made me wear my own ass as a hat! (Brock comes back) Brock: Come on and train me. You left the living world because you were afraid that some younger not yet ready hoss was going to beat you. That's what a pussy would do. Are you a pussy? Austin: I'm more man then twelve Steven Regals. I just got these bum knees and I think I injured my drinking arm hitting Deb……bowling. Brock: So there's nothing to stop me from F-5ing you into a bloody stupor. (Brock goes to F-5 Austin but Austin kicks Brock in the stomach and stuns him) Austin: That sure did stop you, you silly bastard. I'll tell you what when you wake up from naptime old Stone Cold will show you a thing or two about whooping some ass. TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by PTMidnite on Sept 16, 2003 16:02:22 GMT -5
(Brock and Austin are dressed as women in a huge walk in closet) Austin: Say "I'm a pretty lady" and you best mean it. Brock: This is beyond stupid. Austin: Do you want to be able to defeat Paul Heyman? Brock: Yes. Austin: Then do it. Brock: I'm a pretty lady. Austin: You sounded like a pretty lady, if I was drunk off my ass. You have to mean it. You have to think that you are a pretty lady. Brock: I'M A PRETTY LADY! Austin: That's more like it. Brock: I still don't get why we're doing this in the first place. Austin: If you feel comfortable admitting that you're a pretty lady then nothing your opponent can say will faze you. (now they're dressed as Batman (Brock) and Superman (Steve)) Austin: The Legion of Doom is attacking the Gotham Shoe Expo. We got to get over there and open up a big can of whoop ass on them. Brock: I get it. If I believe I'm a super hero I won't have any fear. Austin: This ain't training. I just like to play Superfriends. We got to got rescue Aquaman because his silly fish ass got tied up in a giant shoe. (they're not dressed as business men) Austin: If they take your business card you already got one foot in the door. Brock: I really need to learn something that's going to kick Heyman's ass. Austin: Ok, I'll teach you the secret of the stunner but those Internet losers out there can't watch us. (fades to black) You're all pathetic. What? I said you're pathetic and won't learn a damn thing from good old Stone Cold. TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by PTMidnite on Sept 16, 2003 16:04:44 GMT -5
(the forest, The Rock (with guitar) is standing with one foot up on a stomp) Rock: Hello boys and girls. Now The Rock's gonna sing you the tale of Brock Lesnar. Who happens to be one of the biggest piles of monkey crap The Rock has ever met. Now after Brock trained with Stone Cold Steve Austin for a while he was ready to fight the evil owner of ECW: Paul Heyman. Hell, The Rock doesn't have to sing it to you. That llama nipple sucking piece of trailer park trash is over there. (points to his right) Oh, you don't believe the great one. Just go over there and look. It's not like The Rock is gonna steer you wrong. (the camera pans over to the left, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman (who has at least twenty title belts strapped on him) are fighting, Brock delivers the stunner and knocks Heyman out, pan back to The Rock) Rock: The Rock knows it was anti-climatic and if The Rock paid to see it he'd want his money back. You like happy endings don't you. Well, The Rock is gonna burst you're bubble because this doesn't have one. You see Vince decided to award all the title belts to HHH. Brock was forced to flee from the evil Kliq when that big nosed goon sent them out to kill anyone with talent. The rest of the characters went to other places. The Rock doesn't have time to tell you where they all went. You're lucky The Rock talks to you at all. But don't threat, Brock Lesnar will be back in Inu-Lesnar The Movie because The Rock knows you can't get enough of this donkey piss. TO CONTINUE IN INU-LESNAR THE MOVIE
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