Inu-Lesnar Season 1

[PTMidnite]

(Stephanie McMahon is walking by a well on her way to school)
Hogan: (from in the well) Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you.
Steph: What the?
(she looks into the well and Hogan’s hand comes out and drags her in, she ends up coming out of the well in medieval Japan, Hogan is flexing)
Steph: Where am I?
Hogan: Listen dude I’m the greatest hoss in the whole world but all the little Hulkamaniacs want me to be even better. I could sense your McMahon blood from the other side of the well, brutha. So I dragged you here to demand a title belt.
Steph: Daddy!
Hogan: But McMahon’s love me. I’m big and talentless.
Steph: I don’t have a title belt.
Hogan: Oh…….sorry dudette. Remember to drink your prayers, say your vitamins, and take your milk.
(Hogan wanders away like people his age tend to do, Steph starts walking around and comes across Brock Lesner handcuffed to a tree, Brock is snoring pretty loudly)
Steph: Shut up! Quit snoring damn it! (she slaps the hell out of Brock)
Brock: (waking up) I don’t want to go to school mommy they make fun of my black pants. (he sees Steph) Boobs! Big boobs! I’ve been dreaming about them that big ever since that bitch handcuffed me here.
Steph: Why did someone handcuff you to a tree?
Brock: You see this mad hot chick was guarding the WWE Undisputed Champion belt that I wanted so I tired to make the move on her so I could get the belt. But then I meet her sister Katie. I figure I could get a little side snatch before I go after the belt but one thing lend to another and lets just say I put her corpse in a car and pushed it off a cliff. Then her sister gets all pissed off like I did something wrong and handcuffs me here. Now why don’t you be a sweet thing and let me go.
Steph: I don’t think so. But why do you want the title belt.
Brock: I’m half vanilla midget and half hoss. With the power of the belt I can became a full hoss. But I’m all man and I’ll show you if you let me go.
Steph: I don’t think so.
Brock: Come on I’ve been holding number one for 50 years.
Steph: No.
(she leaves)
Brock: Yeah, she wants me.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Steph comes across a temple and finds the priestess Moolah inside)
Steph: Can you tell me where I am?
Moolah: You’re in the Titan Forest in Japan.
Steph: But nobody I’ve come across looks Japanese or speaks it.
Moolah: You’re not suppose to notice that.
Steph: That doesn’t make sense.
Moolah: Look if you nitpick about every little detail then this wouldn’t be much of a parody.
Steph: Ok, I want out of this dumb thing. I demand that I be written into something good starring HHH.
Moolah: Hey, I’m the only one allowed to break the fourth wall. Listen you’re a McMahon and as such only you have the power to guard the WWE Undisputed Championship belt from evil.
Steph: Some guy handcuffed to a tree wanted that.
(Hulk Hogan comes in, rips his shirt off, poses, and then steals the title belt)
Moolah: Damn it! That orange goblin always steals the belt and makes poor Ric Flair job to him. We have to stop him.
Steph: How?
Moolah: We can use Lesnar. He’s half hoss so he’ll be able to fight Hogan.
(cut to Moolah and Steph at the tree Brock is handcuffed to)
Brock: (after his hands are free) Gee thanks. Now give me the title belt witch or I’ll bash your skull in with a rock.
Steph: Hulk Hogan stole it.
Brock: Boobs!
(he goes to get a feel and Steph slaps his hand)
Moolah: You’re too much trouble to let you free without a ward. (Moolah puts a big stupid looking tattoo on Brock’s back) Now say Job and you will detain the beast.
Steph: Job.
(Brock falls to the ground on his back, he can’t move his shoulders)
Moolah: I’ll only take the ward off if you do good.
Brock: All right I’ll help you get the title back but then I’ll just steal it.
Moolah: That’s a risk we’ll have to take.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Hulk Hogan is giving Ric Flair leg drop after leg drop)
Flair: WHOOOOOOO MY KIDNEYS ARE FAILING WHOOOOOOO!
Hogan: What’cha gonna do when Hulkamania………..
Flair: Runs wild on you.
Hogan: ………….skips gingerly away.
(Steph and Brock show up)
Brock: Old people fighting, now that’s funny
Steph: We need that belt back NOW!!!
(Hogan stops dropping the leg)
Hogan: But dude with this belt all others must job to me.
(Brock falls on to his back and Hogan then jumps on him, Tim White comes out of nowhere and counts the three, Hogan gets up and poses)
Brock: Hey, that wasn’t fair you geriatric baldo.
Hogan: I’m not bald.
Brock: Yes you are.
Hogan: (takes doo-rag off and point to his skullet) You see here.
Brock: But you’re still bald.
Hogan: No I’m not bald but you’re stupid.
Brock: You’re the one that’s stupid.
Hogan: So I’m stupid, brutha. Well not as stupid as your mother. You’re momma’s so stupid that she took a box of doughnuts back because they had holes in them.
Brock: That’s funny……..hey wait a minute.
Steph: You two just shut the hell up!
(Vince comes walking in for no reason what so ever, truly do I need I reason for anything to happen in these parodies)
Vince: Mr. Hogan.
Steph: Daddy you’ve come to save me.
Vince: No I’ve come to strip Hogan of the belt.
Hogan: Why don’t you just strangle the little throats of all the Hulkamaniacs.
Vince: I’ve decided to break the belt back up so that HHH has more titles to win.
(the Undisputed belt flies into the sky breaks up into about 173 different belts and they fly off in all directions, Vince just leaves)
Hogan: Bummer.
Brock: Look what you’re stupid father did.
Hogan: You’re the one that’s stupid.
Brock: No you are.
Hogan: Not as stupid as your dad. Yo daddy’s so stupid that he was shaking because his juice box said shake before opening.
Brock: That was funny……hey quit doing that.

[PTMidnite]

(a village, The Kliq (HHH, Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, Justin Credible, Scott Hall, amd Sean Waltman) and the LWO (Eddie, Chavo, Silver King, Super Calo, Lizmark Jr., Rey Jr., and El Dandy) are walking towards each other snapping their fingers)
Eddie: This is a rumble, esse. You know what you do in a rumble?
Shawn: Yes I do. Now you wouldn’t mind explaining it because Sean and Justin are a little slow.
Eddie: Well then you should tell them.
Shawn: I think you could explain it better.
Eddie: But you’re so articulate with your words.
Shawn: But you have charisma.
Eddie: Seriously I don’t know what a rumble is.
Shawn: I don’t know either. I thought you guys knew what one was.
Eddie: We thought you knew what it was.
Shawn: This is getting awkward. So why don’t we all just dance back the way we came.
Eddie: Okay.
(they dance back the way they came, Brock and Steph walk in)
Brock: I’m a genie in a bottle.
Steph: Quit signing that song.
Brock: It’s a great song. Of course you’re a stupid bitch so you wouldn’t know.
Steph: Job.
(Lesnar falls on his back, the LWO come back in snapping there fingers)
Eddie: Lizmark lost his car keys, I was wondering if you found them.
Steph: No.
Eddie: Then we’ll try the saki bar.
(they dance back the way they came)
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Tazz is walking around wearing the ECW world title, Lesnar and Steph come up to him)
Steph: Look a title belt. Go get it.
Brock: Wait a minute, missy. I don’t want that one.
Steph: Why?
Brock: It was held by a drunken overweight beach bum, a guy the thinks the English language is composed entirely of swear words, a teacher that can’t get it up, a human penis, some pot smoking hippie, and now this midget is wearing it.
Tazz: Midget, that’s good. It’s not like you have a goofy looking head or anything.
Brock: At least I can ride all the roller coasters at Bush Gardens.
Steph: Just give us that belt…..
Tazz: Name’s Tazz with two z’s.
Steph: Why two z’s?
Tazz: I stole the other one from Tom Zenk, now he’s just Tom Enk.
Brock: (laughs) That’s funny.
Steph: Just grab the belt!
Tazz: You want my belt. Then you’re going to have to pry it off my cold dead body.
Brock: I still don’t want it.
Steph: You get the belt and I’ll flash my breasts.
Brock: Hot dog!
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock and Tazz stare down one another, Brock comes at Tazz but Tazz stops him)
Tazz: Hey there big fellow. You think that this will be a wrestling match. You see my doctor told me that my rotator cup was out of whack so I ain’t going to be doing any of that tossing people around stuff for a while.
Brock: But I thought we were going to fight.
Tazz: We will be in a different sense. We’ll do battle in the mind like those monks from that Communist repressed place.
Brock: How do we do that?
Tazz: We close our eyes and think about fighting each other. You know it’s enlightening.
(Brock closes his eyes, Tazz gives Brock a nut shot and leaves as Brock falls to the ground in pain)
Steph: You idiot!
Brock: Being a monk must suck.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(somewhere else, I’m not really sure because I lost the map, Paul Heyman draped by the hide of Albert the demon of much hair is sitting in his mother’s basement plotting his evil plan with his henchmen Sandman and RVD)
Paul: Now that the WWE Undisputed World belt has been split and sent across the world my evil plan shall come to pass.
RVD: (giggles) you said cum.
Paul: The was cute the first time but by time 137 it gets a tad annoying. To get back on topic: I Paul Heyman the owner of the greatest wrestling promotion in the entire world will grasp all the belts then every one must watch my cable access show. Because would you want to watch a promotion without any champions?
(Sandman gets up and stumbles around, tries to drink his beer but it all spills over his shoulder, he bashes the can against his head and falls down)
Paul: You’re cleaning that up.
Paul’s Mom: (from up stairs) Paul you have a friend at the door.
Paul: Who?
Paul’s Mom: Some kid named Bryce.
Paul: Oy vey! Tell him I’m not here!
Paul’s Mom: But he really wants to see you.
Paul: Quick out the secret exit behind the pile of porn.
RVD: Which one? There most be hundreds of piles of porn down here.
Paul: The stack of Ramrod Monthly.
RVD: It’s that a gay porn mag?
Paul: No time for that: flee damn you!
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(else where Nathan Jones is leaning against a tree, Brock and Steph walk in)
Steph: It’s been three days, we’re never going to find another title belt.
Brock: But we found at least six strip clubs and you wouldn’t let me go in any of them.
Nathan: Hey mate, did I hear you talkin’ about title belts.
Brock: No, strip clubs.
Steph: Yes, we where talking about title belts.
Brock: No, I was talking about strip clubs. What are you deaf as well as dumb?
Steph: You’re the dumb one.
Brock: You’re the dumb one.
Steph: No, you are.
Brock: I may be dumb but I’m not as dumb as your mother. She’s so dumb that….she….couldn’t…..didn’t know that……the sky was blue.
Steph: That just proved me right.
Nathan: Don’t argue blokes. I know where you can get a shiny title belt.
Steph: Where?
Nathan: In the lair of the Big Show lays the WWF World Heavyweight title. Now before you go off, it would be a real nice thing if you (points to Brock) would pick up this bar (drops a bar of soap) of soap for me.
Brock: OK (goes to do it)
Steph: Job.
(Brock falls on his back)
Nathan: Can you get him to turn over?
Steph: No.
Nathan: Bloody hell.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(The lair of Big Show, which is a cave filled with fast food wrappings, empty cola bottles, full bottles of Stacker 2, and gravy stains on the floor, Big Show is sitting on his throne made of jobber bones, Paul Heyman, RVD, and Spike walk in)
Paul: Hi yeah, Show. Me and the boys where just out walking around and we found ourselves here. And since we’re here I figured you could kill someone for me.
Show: Who?
Paul: That no good half-hoss: Brock Lesnar. In fact he’s coming here today to get your WWF Heavyweight title. Now I could hold on to it for a spell but only as long as it takes you to kill that mongoloid.
Show: But you still haven’t given me my Carebears The Movie video back.
Paul: You see here’s the problem: I recorded American Idol over it. But I promise I’ll return your title belt and just to show you what a guy I am, I’ll let you eat Little Spike over here.
Spike: Hey, that’s not in my contract.
(Big Show eats Spike)
Show: I’ll do it. (hands Paul the belt) But if you don’t give it back I’ll tell your mom.
Paul: You wouldn’t dare tattle on me.
Show: Yes I would.
Paul: Like your fat ass is even going to survive the fight.
Show: You little bitch!
Paul: Did I say that out loud? Well………flee Van Dam flee.
(RVD and Paul take off, Show goes to give chase but is winded just getting up)
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock and Steph walk into the Big Show’s lair)
Show: Brock Lesnar I’ve been waiting for you. A pathetic half-hoss like you can never defeat a fine testament to hossness such as myself.
Brock: You ain’t nothing Show. I’ve seen cremated Frenchmen with more mobility then you.
Show: Don’t you bring my father into this.
(the Big Bossman comes in holding a corpse)
Bossman: He wasn’t your dad. This here piece of rotting trash is your pappy.
Show: (hurries up and looks thru the yet to be published but nothing makes sense as it is anyways Wrestlecrap The Book) You’re right!
Bossman: Now are you gonna cry about it or do I have to let pa here have a visit with Mr. Jones?
Show: (starts crying) I never got to say…….(looks up) Line!
Script Guy: (off screen) Goodbye!
Show: (puts face back in hands and resumes crying) Goodbye.
Bossman: Since my job is done, I bid you good day.
(Bossman leaves with Show’s dead pappy)
Brock: I want you’re stupid belt and I want it now.
Show: Dadddddddddy.
Brock: Get up and fight.
Show: I remember when he used to………(looks up) Line!
Script Guy: (off screen) Take me to the circus when I was a boy!
Show: (starts crying again) Take me to the….
(Brock grabs Show by the throat)
Brock: Title belt now!
Show: Paul Heyman tricked me out of it before you came.
Brock: (lets go of Show) Crap in a hat.
Steph: Let’s go after this Heyman guy then.
Brock: I rather not.
Steph: Why?
Brock: Well sweet cheeks, fifty years ago I took the last soda from his mini-fridge and forgot to restock it. After that he swore that he’d kill me. He’s funny like that.
Steph: I can’t believe that I’m stuck here with a retard like you.
Brock: I can’t believe that those fun bags don’t upset your center of balance and cause you to fall down.
Steph: Let’s just leave.
Brock: I got something I need to do first.
(Brock takes two huge handfuls of Stacker 2 and shoves them down Show’s throat, Big Show’s fat catches fire and he burns to death)
Brock: I wish I had some wieners.
Steph: (grabs Brock by his ear and pulls him towards the exit) Come on.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock and Steph are in the woods and Matt Hardy comes upon them)
Matt: Are you loyal MFers?
Brock: Do you want your neck broken?
Matt: Are you a Mattitude follower?
Brock: What’s that?
Matt: It’s like Christianity but you worship me: Matt Hardy. I’m not invisible, I’m not in the heavens, and I don’t pass judgment on the people of the earth.
Steph: Why would anyone want to be your follower?
Matt: Because……I got……there’s this…….well so far nobody wants to join my religion but one day everyone will realize how great I am and flock to me.
Steph: That’s great and all but we have to go find some title belts.
Matt: You also seek the title belts?
Steph: Yeah.
Matt: I quest to collect them because with championship gold around my waist the MFers will see my greatness and will have to worship me and give me their credit card numbers.
Steph: You want to come with us?
Matt: Ok, because the first commandment of Mattitude is “thou shall gain glory and fortune from the work of others”.
Steph: Forget I asked.
Matt: You can’t take a travel invite back. In fact that’s the 52nd commandment.
Steph: Shit.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(our company of travelers come across Jamie Noble setting on a lawn chair in front of his trailer)
Noble: If I knew which color was blue I’d sing about it right now.
Matt: Have you ever considered taking Matt Hardy into your heart?
Noble: My heart’s too broken to take anything into it right now.
Steph: What’s your problem?
Noble: The love of my life Nidia left me two months ago and now my life is empty like all my beer bottles.
Brock: That’s such a sad story. (starts crying)
Steph: What? He’s just some hick that’s trail park queen left him. That’s not sad in the least.
Brock: But he’s all alone and he’s so little and cute. Can he come with us? I’ll take good care of him and give him all the booze and porn he wants.
Steph: No!
Noble: (hugs Brock’s legs) I love you caveman.
Steph: We are not dragging a red neck with us.
Brock: (pets Noble’s head) That’s a good boy.
Steph: He’s not a pet!
Matt: (scratching under Noble’s chin) That’s a good little MFer.
Steph: Daddy!
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Paul Heyman and RVD are in a cave with a huge spider’s web)
Paul: Hello, is anyone home?
(a huge black spider wearing a cowboy hat lowers itself from the ceiling)
JR: Heyman what are you doing hear? Have you come to buy my new cookbook? Because I’ve got literally tons of them left. (raises a leg into the air) Damn you better bookstores and your unsold copy return policies. Jezebels all of them.
Paul: OOOOOOKAYYYYYYY. I’ve come here to ask a favor.
JR: What?
Paul: Brock Lesnar has been a thorn in my side for far too long. I was wondering if maybe you’d be a doll and kill him for me?
JR: By gawd! I hate that half-hoss. You’re either all hoss or nothing in my book. Speaking of my book: I’m just wrote my own book and it can be yours for only 9.95 at Shopzone.com today.
Paul: No thanks but if you kill Lesnar I’ll pull some strings and free Steve Austin from mid-card hell just for you.
JR: STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD! (sprays a big stream of web out of his ass)
Paul: I’ll take that as a yes. Jim because me and you are on the same page….
JR: STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD!
Paul: ……hate Brock I’ll help you. My henchman Rhyno is kidnapping that bitch McBoob as we speak…..
JR: STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD! (cowboy hat explodes)
Paul:……well I’m speaking and you’re babbling like a fool but that’s why I love you Jimmy. When Brock finds out that she’s here he’s bound to come rescue her or most likely try to see her nude.
JR: STONE COLD STONE COL…(faints)
RVD: I don’t think this guy can kill Brock for us.
Paul: Oh he’ll do it because……oh hell he’ll probably fuck up but hey think about it: we won’t have to worry about freeing Steve….you know who.
TO BE CONTINUED
(Steph is off alone in the woods, Rhyno comes up to her)
Rhyno: Dear miss I’m awfully afraid but I must kidnap you. I know it’s rude and quite ill mannered of me but I made Mr. Heyman a promise and one should never go back on his word.
Steph: Huh?
Rhyno: Don’t you grasp the notion that I’m here to take your person away and place you in deadly peril?
Steph: I don’t understand what you’re saying.
Rhyno: Sigh I guess must banter with you on a level you can fully understand. Fuck kill maim fuck!
Steph: AHHHHHHHH!
Rhyno: I’m going to fucking kidnap you and fucking hand you over to fucking JR.
Steph: HELP!
Rhyno: (punches Steph out) I’m truly sorry that it had to come to this miss.
(he grabs her and leaves a note, cut to Matt, Brock, and Noble reading the note)
Brock: Good the bitch is finally gone. Now I don’t have to listen to her bitch and find me them title belts.
Matt: You should go rescue her.
Brock: Is that one of your stupid Mattitude commandments?
Matt: No in fact it goes against commandment 51, “thou shall never help another man”. But we should save her because she is one fine piece of ass and the religion of Mattitude has one virtue above all others: getting it on with foxy chicks.
Brock: But what’s in it for me?
Noble: Me too.
Brock: Yeah, what’s in it for me and Noble.
Matt: I’ll let the two of you watch when I charm her into my bed.
Brock: That seems perfectly fair.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(JR’s lair, Steph is marinating in a vat of Good Ol’ JR’s BBQ Sauce)
Steph: You don’t want to eat me. I love Hunter and he’s a hoss.
JR: But does the love of a hoss make one a hoss: by gawd it don’t!
Steph: Daddy!
JR: That evil no good bastard Vince McMahon can’t save you now.
(Voodoo Child plays as Brock dressed like Hogan complete with boas enters the lair)
Brock: Like what are you going to do when I run out into traffic?
JR: HULK HOGAN IS HERE AND AS GAWD IS MY WITNESS BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
Brock: Dude, are you ready to snap into a Slim Jim? (Brock starts air drumming)
Steph: There’s no way in hell that this is going to work.
Brock: Do you smell what the Brock is cooking? (tries to do the people’s eyebrow but can’t so he holds it up with his finger)
JR: Hogan you don’t sound so good.
Brock: I just haven’t been taking my steroids recently, sucka. Now can you dig that?
JR: What a darn minute! I smell vanilla midget.
Brock: I ate one this mourning. (raises right arm in the air) HOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(the lair is flooded with the chant of “U S A”)
JR: No you’re not Hulk Hogan at all. You’re that no good half-hoss jezebel: Brock Lesnar.
(JR tears Brock’s do rag and sunglasses off)
Brock: (looks nervous) I’m the best there is at who I do.
JR: I’ll eat your restaurant quality ass too.
(Matt Hardy enters the lair)
Matt: Hello, my loyal MFer.
JR: Paint yourself funny colors, forget English, and throw yourself thru a table and then you can come back.
Matt: You really don’t want to eat this young woman.
JR: I do so want to eat her.
Steph: You’re not helping!
Matt: If you must eat her then surly you’d like an appetizer.
JR: Like what?
Matt: (takes out a monkey wrench) I healthy dose of blunt trauma.
(Matt hammers JR in the head with the wrench until JR passes out, Brock lifts Steph out of the vat)
Steph: I need a shower now.
Brock: I could just lick it off.
Matt: I’ll help.
Steph: Job!
(Brock falls on to his back and Steph knees Matt in the balls)
Brock: I swear no matter how many times I see it: a dude getting his balls smashed in is always funny.
(Matt stomps Brock’s balls)
Brock: Ok not every time.
TO BE CONTINUED
(Rene Dupree and Grenier are in the forest, Rene is sniffing some flowers)
Rene: Isn’t it great to just enjoy life?
Grenier: Yes it is, Rene. I’m so happy that I could sing.
Rene: Me too.
Rene and Grenier: We’re French and that’s ok. We never bathe and are rude to Americans.
(Brock and company enter)
Brock: Look what we got here: fruits.
Matt: I’m afraid it’s worst then that my MFers: they’re French.
Steph: Ok ok ok. I’ve put up with all the other stuff that doesn’t make sense up to here but I’m drawing the line. There is no way that people in medieval Japan would know the French good enough to hate them let alone there being two Frenchmen just out in the Japanese country side picking flowers.
Brock: If I knew that then I’d be the King of Spain. And if I was the King of Spain I’d go to America and take it over because that wop claimed it for me.
Steph: But that didn’t happen yet.
Rene: These people are idiots.
Grenier: Yes Rene and they are also not paying attention to us anymore.
Rene: Hey stupids, we want you to pay attention to us so we may make rude comments about you.
Grenier: Plus insinuate things about your mothers.
Brock: Well yo mamma is so stupid that she lives in France.
Rene: Ha ha! The fact that she lives in France proves that she is not stupid.
Grenier: These simpletons bore me. Lets go sip wine as we discuss why the English suck.
(exit Rene and Grenier)
Steph: We need to find the title belts.
Matt: Lets find a town so we can find out where some are.
Noble: Slip ‘n’ slide!
Brock: Yeah, and find a slip ‘n’ slide to play with.
Steph: Why me?
Matt: Because you’re an annoying bitch that only gets TV time because daddy runs the company. But don’t let that make you think that I’m not sexy.
Steph: I think I hate you more then Brock.
Matt: Mattitude commandment 7 states that if I woman says she hates you she just wants you but won’t admit it.
Steph: Creep.
Brock: Damn, women must love me!
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock and company are in a town and Paul Heyman jumps off a roof to land in front of them, he falls like a sack of shit straight on his face, RVD goes over and helps Paul up)
Paul: Don’t you dare laugh. I’m just not wearing the right shoes.
Brock: I haven’t seen you for a long time Paulie. The whole soda thing was Sabu’s fault or New Jack’s or who ever you hate the most.
Paul: I know that you where the one to drink the last soda, Brock. You could have been a nice considerate person and filled the fridge back up but no. You had to be a prick and force me to put ice in my soda. Do you know how crappy soda is with ice? That’s the kind of thing you never forget. It’s like you pissed on my grave.
Brock: I did kind of piss on you plant.
Paul: You’re the one that killed Plantsy. Your disregard for others and their things ends now.
Brock: Cram a bagel in it Heyman.
Paul: Why you miserable Gentile. I got just the thing to put you in your place: Kevin Nash!
(everyone waits around and Kev doesn’t show)
Paul: I said: Kevin Nash!
(a couple of more minutes and he doesn’t show)
Paul: Van Dam go get that hoss now!
RVD: He says that the distance to here is too much for his broken down body to handle.
Paul: But he’s twelve feet away.
(pan to see Big Kev sitting in a lawn chair twelve feet away sipping an iced tea)
Paul: Get over here and kill him!
Kevin: Look, it’s like this. This mourning I dislocated my shoulder getting out of bed. Then I broke a rib breathing. So this fight thing: no dice.
Paul: Just fuck me! Rob lets go. But be warned Brock, your time is finite.
(Paul and RVD leave)
Steph: So, you haven’t fought a single person yet. Can you actually fight?
Brock: Yeah.
Matt: Then lets go get you in a fight so you can prove this to us.
Brock: Ok, any chance I get to hurt people is a good thing to me.
TO BE CONTINUED