Post by John Roche on Dec 9, 2003 0:46:54 GMT -5
Here it is, folks. As threatened promised, I bring you a review of what is known as the worst game that ever saw mass duplication.
Superman--N64
Every once in a while, there comes a game that makes history. A game that practically changes your perception of games as a whole.
This is indeed one of those games. I cannot stress how bad this game is. If crappy games were a single RPG, this game wouldn't be the final boss--it would be the super secret boss that was 10 times tougher than the final boss (Dragon Ball GT) and gave you a big whopping heap of nothing for your trouble.
Why this game is so bad is difficult to ascertain--not because of any sort of factors that make one 3D action/adventure game good or bad, but because it fails on so many levels.
First, the graphics. There's little animation, and there's fog everywhere. It's like being at a really crappy nightclub, it's so bad.
Next, we come to the sound. This has some voices from Superman and Brainiac, as well as a Lex Luthor laugh when you lose, but much of the music seems a bit generic.
Now, the gameplay/controls. Each button seems to do what it does with relatively little trouble. But, the way Superman handles is a bit frustrating at times. Sometimes, he's too slow. Other times, he's too fast. This is especially exasperating in the "training" level, which most people foolish enough to play the game most likely got frustrated at and stopped playing. And I don't blame them--there are missions in here where you have to "protect" a car, but it gets blown up before you can get to it.
Of course, there's the "faithfulness to source work" here, but let's face it--a game in which Superman was portrayed accurately would either be unloseable or fraught with contrivances. So we'll just ignore the betrayal of the actual creative vision there, shall we?
So, we have a game with poor animation, more fog than London, cookie-cutter sound and music, frustrating handling, and deceptive difficulty. Do I recommend playing this game?
I can sum it up in two words. FUCK YEAH.
Once you've played this game, you will know what the true "worst game of all time" is. There is practically nothing redeeming about this game--saying that "Superman fans will enjoy this" is an insult to even the Superman fans who change their last names to "-El" and/or command people to kneel before them. So why do I recommend it?
Because practically any other game you play will compare favorably to this game here. Incidentally, to paraphrase the principal in Billy Madison, I can only say to Titus Software the following:
"Titus, what you've made is one of the most insanely idiotic games I have ever played. At no point in this plodding, incoherent production was this even close to anything that could be considered a good game. Everyone who has played this is now dumber for having played it. I award this 0/10, and may God have mercy on your souls."
Superman--N64
Every once in a while, there comes a game that makes history. A game that practically changes your perception of games as a whole.
This is indeed one of those games. I cannot stress how bad this game is. If crappy games were a single RPG, this game wouldn't be the final boss--it would be the super secret boss that was 10 times tougher than the final boss (Dragon Ball GT) and gave you a big whopping heap of nothing for your trouble.
Why this game is so bad is difficult to ascertain--not because of any sort of factors that make one 3D action/adventure game good or bad, but because it fails on so many levels.
First, the graphics. There's little animation, and there's fog everywhere. It's like being at a really crappy nightclub, it's so bad.
Next, we come to the sound. This has some voices from Superman and Brainiac, as well as a Lex Luthor laugh when you lose, but much of the music seems a bit generic.
Now, the gameplay/controls. Each button seems to do what it does with relatively little trouble. But, the way Superman handles is a bit frustrating at times. Sometimes, he's too slow. Other times, he's too fast. This is especially exasperating in the "training" level, which most people foolish enough to play the game most likely got frustrated at and stopped playing. And I don't blame them--there are missions in here where you have to "protect" a car, but it gets blown up before you can get to it.
Of course, there's the "faithfulness to source work" here, but let's face it--a game in which Superman was portrayed accurately would either be unloseable or fraught with contrivances. So we'll just ignore the betrayal of the actual creative vision there, shall we?
So, we have a game with poor animation, more fog than London, cookie-cutter sound and music, frustrating handling, and deceptive difficulty. Do I recommend playing this game?
I can sum it up in two words. FUCK YEAH.
Once you've played this game, you will know what the true "worst game of all time" is. There is practically nothing redeeming about this game--saying that "Superman fans will enjoy this" is an insult to even the Superman fans who change their last names to "-El" and/or command people to kneel before them. So why do I recommend it?
Because practically any other game you play will compare favorably to this game here. Incidentally, to paraphrase the principal in Billy Madison, I can only say to Titus Software the following:
"Titus, what you've made is one of the most insanely idiotic games I have ever played. At no point in this plodding, incoherent production was this even close to anything that could be considered a good game. Everyone who has played this is now dumber for having played it. I award this 0/10, and may God have mercy on your souls."
