whacked Out wrestling Memorial: Volume 2!

[Reflecto]

(Since the site that it was originally on is back up, I figure I'll move it to a safer place/friendly grounds...)

February 29, 2004...?

"This is the match it all comes down to...Super 8 Finals- Daniels/Goddard- winners' federation gets to represent the AWA on our Pay-Per-Views each and every week right here on DirectTV!"

"That's right! These two have fought through the whole of the tournament, and now, we have the final- a Ladder match to determine the first AWA World Champion!" This is it- everything comes down to this moment. A World Title on the line...hell, wOw itself seems to be right there on my shoulders. All of my friends are watching backstage- this is the moment.

<< AWA: Super 8 report by: Peter "FakeRazor" Ramon>>

Well, the Super 8 finals are set, and wouldn't you know it- it's Christopher Daniels and Tom Goddard fighting it out in the finals of the tournament. Not that I'm complaining- the fact that they'll go with the two best they have is always a plus, but come on- who couldn't predict this final would occur? It's not like it was hidden at all...anyway, the match. Awesome mixture of high-flying and technical ability, just like you'd expect from these two. A number of nice moves come into play, as the two manage to use the ladder to its fullest potential. Great stuff come through, and I am totally marking out from the utter skill these two put out during the entirety.>>

Of course, I keep wondering why the guy who does AWA reviews for thesmartmarks.com is showing up in my head, but I try to chalk it off to looking at my own matches from the point of view of an objective viewer...at least, until something occurs to keep this from happening...

"And Christopher Daniels has grabbed a chair, and is locking Tom Goddard's ankle inside of it!"

Just then, I felt my ankle get Pillmanized as Daniels went through. Pain shot through the lower extremities of my body, as I tried to continue. I moved my ankle- just enough to know it wasn't broken...until Daniels repeated it with the other ankle, and more pain shot through me.

"Daniels is serious about winning!"
"You know what's going on in this matchup- it's all about the things that go to the winner!"

Yevon, I knew what was going on in that case- which is why, against what most people would say- I tried to walk on those legs. Luckily, they weren't broken...not yet. Unfortunately, a Daniels dropkick to me kept me down, until...

"Daniels is going for a big Ankle Lock now...!"
"Why would he go for this in a Ladder Match?"
"I think he's trying to put the hurt on Tom Goddard- keep him from any hope of getting him out!"

The Ankle Lock went through, and believe me, he was working stiffer than a 14 year old with his first copy of Playboy. I felt him keep the pressure on...and then, the pain amplified. I knew what it meant- he must have broke my right ankle. I tried crawling- doing everything possible to stay in this matchup. I tried crawling on my arms to get to the ladder. I knew I couldn't climb it in this condition, but hey- if Daniels wanted to injure me for this, I would do the same to him. I pushed it over, almost with my last ounce of strength, and flipped over, sending my good left ankle into the ladder, kicking it over. Daniels headed out of the ring. Unfortunately, he headed right back in, and reworked it with my left ankle. Finally, I knew I had no tricks in my sleeve...he reset the ladder...he headed up it...rung by rung...he almost made it...

"Ninety-nine point one in the morning!"

"Good morning, Providence! I am Madison Carter, and with me is Gristleizer. It's 5:30 a.m. on a beautiful July 23rd, 2004! We've got some great music coming up, but first, these messages..."

I woke up almost groggy- hoping I could get back to bed. Strange- since the moment that it occurred, I've almost been haunted by that dream. I guess it's my mind paying me back...after all that wOw has done for me and my family- when they had their big chance to get regular PPVs, I couldn't repay them...

(TBC...)

[Reflecto]

I knew that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep after that happened again, or at least, not until I got it out of my mind. Instead, I just decided to try and think of the good things that happened recently...where to begin there? Well, for starters, wOw finally got something resembling a major deal- The Wrestling Network agreed to make whacked Out wrestling one of its lynchpins, giving us a cable deal to be seen all around the UK! (Now, if only something similar would happen in the US...) It may be a problem, but it gives us some credibility, and it beats solely being for the benefit of Public Access...I'd liken that to the credibility my run gave the fed- only three of the federations in the whole thing got the money to continue- most of them went bankrupt or were bought outright originally by the AWA (AWA: Major League Wrestling and IWA-Mid South being the other two to survive.) Of course, most of the biggest-name wOw superstars then proceeded to jump ship, thinking they could do better- but who's counting? With the alliances we made with these two, our wrestlers are much more over than they used to be...In fact, since I'm thinking about it...rosters for them? (Suddenly, a smaller figure in the shape of my buddy Jared came over...)

"SUPER-DEFORMED JARED STEELE ROSTER POWER!"

AWA: Major League Wrestling Roster [wOw wrestlers in BOLD].

Main Eventers:

None...yet...

Upper Midcarders:

Christopher Daniels (H, Cult Leader)
Jerry Lynn (H, Show Stealer)
Justin Credible (H, Arrogant)
Juventud Guerrera (F, Cool)
Sabu (F, Show Stealer)
Terry Funk (F, Extremist)

Midcarders:

Bison Smith (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Bryan Danielson (F, No Gimmick Needed)
CW Anderson (H, Enforcer)
Danny Doring (F, Arrogant)
Donovan Morgan (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Ekmo (H, Gangsta)
Harry Smith (F, Foreign Star)
Low-Ki (H, Martial Arts)
Michael Modest (H, Obnoxious)
Norman Smiley (F, Comedy Character)
Scoot Andrews (H, Old School Heel)
Simon Diamond (H, Arrogant)
Steve Corino (H, Old School Heel)
Todd Shane (H, Bad Ass)
Vampiro (H, Vampire)

Lower Midcarders:

Al Katrazz (H, Bad Ass)
Chad Collyer (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Chris Hamrick (H, Racist)
Chris Hero (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Cibernetico (H, Bad Ass)
Essa Rios (H, Luchadore)
Fidel Sierra (F, Old School Face)
Finale (H, Evil)
Frankie Kazarian (F, Blue Chipper)
Hardcore Kidd (H, Evil Pimp)
Hector Garza (H, Suave)
Homicide (H, Gangsta)
Jimmy Snuka Jr. (F, Old School Face)
Joel Maximo (F, Highlight Reel)
Jose Maximo (F, Highlight Reel)
Josh Prohibition (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Leatherface (H, Psycho)
M-Dogg 20 (T, Highlight Reel)
Mike Shane (H, Bad Ass)
Mike Sullivan (H, Arrogant)
Rocky Romero (F, Cocky)
Samu (H, Gangsta)
Taiyo Kea (H, Bad Ass)
The Predator (H, Bad Ass)
TJ Wilson (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Tom Goddard... Oh, sorry- I didn't tell you? Well, you probably should have guessed I'd be one of the wOw guys who AWAMLW picked as a regular there as well- I mean, I was a finalist. They said they would be reworking my gimmick, and I should be debuting very soon (probably in the next few weeks.) When I next head over there, I should be getting the style they want me working under...well, on with the AWA roster...

Tom Howard (F, Bad Ass)
Tony DeVito (F, Extremist)
Tony Mamaluke (H, Firey Italian)

Openers:

Abismo Negro (H, Evil)
Alda Moreno (F, None)
Barbara Vixen (F, Equality Fighter)
Billy Kim (H, Whole Damn Show)
Brandon Downard (F, Old School Face)
Brett Downard (F, Old School Face)
Chance Beckett (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Chris Dobbs (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Cinthia Moreno (F, None)
Electro Shock (H, Mysterious)
Esther Moreno (F, None)
Ghostwalker (H, Native American)
Halo wOw (F, Occult)
Headhunter A (H, Extremist)
Headhunter B (H, Extremist)
Ironwood (H, Foreign Star)
Jamie Kogyaru (F, Girl Power)
Jared Steele (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Jason Knight (F, Extremist)
Jay Matthews (T, None)
Jayce Simmons (F, Boy Band)
Jeff Rocker (H, None)
Joey Hamm (F, Clean Cut)
Joey Ryan (F, Cocky)
John Roche (F, Old School Face)
Kevin Hayes (F, Pimp)
Mana (T, Gangsta)
Mosco de La Merced (H, Daredevil)
Nico (F, Foreign Star)
Prodigy wOw (H, Evolution)
Psicosis (H, Daredevil)
Ray Gordy (F, None)
Ricky Reyes (F, Cocky)
Scott Lost (F, Daredevil)
Shane Ballard (H, Dual-Sport Superstar)
Shannon Ballard (H, Dual-Sport Superstar)
Sonjay Dutt (F, Fun Babyface)
Stavros (F, Foreign Star)
Teddy Hart (F, None)
Tony Jones (H, None)

Jobbers:

Abunai (H, Evil Foreigner)
Alex Shelley (F, None)
Bobby Quance (F, None)
Charly Manson (H, None)
Chessman (H, Gothic)
Dos Caras Jr. (F, Blue Chipper)
Fred Curry Jr. (F, Old School Face)
Jack Evans (F, Highlight Reel)
Julius Smokes (F, Rapper)
Matt Classic (F, None)
Navajo Warrior (H, Native American)
Patricio del Chulo (H, Luchadore)
Puma (F, None)
Skulu the Savage (H, Savage)

Managers:

Ariel (F, Cheerleader)
Geoffrey Richter (H, Sports Agent)
Kari-Chan (F, Dancer)
Lori Angel (F, Dancer)
Midajah (F, Seductress)
P.T. Midnite (H, Obnoxious)
Sebastian Night (H, None)


Well, that's about it for AWAMLW... could you pull up IWA-Mid South's roster, oh Super-Deformed version of one of my close personal friends?...
"Sure thing, Tom!"



Main Event:

Matt Stryker (H- No Gimmick Needed)
The Messiah (H- Daredevil)

Upper Midcard:

Axl Rotten (F-Extremist)
Chris Hero (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Jonny Storm (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Nick Gage (F- Extremist)
Tracy Smothers (H- Racist)

Midcard:

Ace Steel (F-None)
Colt Cabana (H- Old School Heel)
Ian Rotten (F- Extremist)
Jared Steele (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Josh Prohibition (F- No Gimmick Needed)
M-Dogg 20 (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Mitch Page (H- None)
Steve Evans (F- Old School Face)
Tarek the Great (H- None)

Lower Midcard:

57U (F- Nerd)
Ace Darling (F- None)
Adam Flash (F- Fun Drunk)
Ben Vincent (H- Monster)
BJ Whitmer (H- No Gimmick Needed)
Chris Cassidy (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Cyberfreak (H- Monster)
Dexter Hart (H- Impressionist)
Eco-Hazard (H- Monster)
Gotti (H- Gangsta)
The Grim Reaper (H- Lackey)
Halo wOw (F- Occult)
Horace the Psychopath (F- Psycho)
Ironwood (F- Foreign Star)
Japanese Ghost (H- Lackey)
Jerrelle Clark (F- Daredevil)
Kangor (H- Impressionist)
Kevin Killgore (F- Cool)
Mad Man Pondo (F- Bad Ass)
Mark Wolf (F- None)%0

[Reflecto]

Milo (F- Fun Babyface)
Naphtali (H- Cocky)
Necro Butcher (F- Extremist)
Manny (H- Monster)
Prince Nana (H- Royalty)
PsykoSlash (F- Bad Ass)
Remiel (H- Troublemaker)
Sharon Goddard (H- Bitch)
Sugar Man (F- Highlight Reel)
Gaylord Focker (H- Gay)
Underfaker (H- Impressionist)
Zeeboe (H-Impressionist)

Opener:

2 Tuff Tony (H- None)
Alex Shelley (F- None)
Boogie Woogie Brown (F-None)
Brad Bradley (H- Arrogant)
Carlton Kaz (F- None)
Cash Flo (H- None)
Corporal Robinson (F- Extremist)
David Babylon (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Delirious (H- None)
Double C IWA-MS (H-Highlight Reel)
Havoc NWA-F (H-Extremist)
Hy-Zaya (F-Daredevil)
Japanese Pool Boy (H- None)
Jimmy Jacobs (H-None)
Justice (H-Mysterious)
Matt Sydal (F-None)
Mickie Knuckles (H-Equality Fighter)
Mike Kruel (F- No Gimmick Needed)
Nate Webb (F-None)
Nigel McGuinness (H- Arrogant)
Pete Gas (H- Rich Snob)
Petey Williams (H-None)
Rollin' Hard (H- None)
Tony "The Janitor" Cobuzzi (F- Blue Collar)
Trevor Rhodes (H-None)
Vance Nevada (H-None)
Yu Phuc Dup (H- Old School Heel)

Jobbers:

Adam Evans (H-None)
Bull Pain (H-None)
Chuck E. Smooth (H-None)
Danny Daniels (H-None)
Dysfunction (H-None)
Eddie Kingston (H-None)
Frankie the Face (H-None)
Gavin Starr (H-Arrogant)
J.C. Bailey (F-None)
Jack Marciano (F-None)
Jaimy Coxxx (H-None)
Jason Lancaster (F-None)
Jayden Draigo (H-None)
Jigsaw (F-None)
Michael Todd Stratton (H-None)
Mitch Rider (H-None)
Ryan Boz (H-None)
Shawn Daivari (F-None)
Simon Sezz (H-None)
Steve Stone (F-None)
Truth Martini (H-None)

Managers:

Daizee Haze (F-None)
Dave Prazak (H-None)
Hailey (F-None)
Jim Fannin (H-None)
Lacey (F-Girl-Next-Door)
Lollipop (F-Dancer)
Lori Angel (F-Seductress)
Oklahoma (F- Impressionist)
XTC (H-Seductress)


Well, at least those are our big "allies", if you will...am I forgetting anything else major...darn! I almost forgot the biggest news of them all. Basically, my older brother Shane signed with WWE a few weeks ago! Basically, after my injury, the AWA was lost without their planned major World Title feud- they didn't expect anyone would actually get injured in their tournament, despite billing them as shoot fights. Anyway, someone had the bright idea to pencil Shane in to feud with Daniels, and when they fought, they stole the show! ***** matchup back in March! Shane finally begins to pick up some steam on the indy circuit, gets a big tryout about a month back up against Brad Richter at the Dunk...they stole the show again; Shane got a sweetheart 3-year deal that I've heard might have him debut on WWE TV without a match of OVW time, while Brad got a development deal; both on the spot! Due to wOw constraints, as of August 1, they'll both be going to the big time, and it has definitely been a long time coming! I mean, Shane had his first match in 1989, and Brad had his first in 1993! They've been wOw's rocks for this long, and never got a break until now!

I assume people know of WWE's roster, but just in case:



Main Event:

Big Show (H-Monster/Smackdown!)
Brock Lesnar (H-Legitimate Athlete-Smackdown!)
Kurt Angle (F-Legitimate Athlete/Smackdown!)
Shawn Michaels (F-Cocky/Raw)
The Undertaker (F-Bad Ass/Smackdown!)
Triple H (H-Franchise Player/Raw)
Chris Benoit (F-No Gimmick Needed/Raw)
Eddie Guerrero (F-Cheater/Smackdown)
John Cena (F-Rapper/Raw)

Upper Midcard:

Batista (H-Monster/Raw)
Chris Jericho (T-Egomaniac/Raw)
Edge (F-Cool/Smackdown)
Kane (H-Monster/Smackdown)
Scott Steiner (H-Monster/Raw)
Christian (H-Arrogant/Smackdown)
Matt Hardy (H/Old School Heel/Raw)
Randy Orton (H/Evolution/Raw)

Midcard:

Al Snow (H-Staff Member/Raw)
A-Train (H-Monster/Raw)
Billy Gunn (F-Teen Idol/Smackdown)
Bradshaw (F-Bad Ass/Smackdown)
Bubba Ray Dudley (F-Extremist/Smackdown)
Charlie Haas (H- Legitimate Athlete/Smackdown)
Chavo Guerrero Jr (H-Cheater/Smackdown)
D-Von Dudley (F-Extremist/Raw)
Faarooq- (F/Bad Ass/Smackdown)
Hardcore Holly (F/Bad Ass/Smackdown)
Jazz (H/Bad Ass/Raw)
Lance Storm (F/Fun Babyface/Raw)
Lita (F/Tomboy/Raw)
Matt Morgan (H/Monster/Smackdown)
Mideon (H/Extremist/Smackdown)
Molly Holly (H/Girl Next Door/Raw)
Rene Dupree (H/Anti-USA/Raw)
Rey Mysterio Jr. (F/Show Stealer/Smackdown)
Rico (H/Gay- Raw)
Sable (H/Seductress-Smackdown)
Shane Goddard (TBA/TBA/TBA)
Shelton Benjamin (H/Legitimate Athlete/Smackdown)
Tajiri (H/Martial Arts/Smackdown)
Test (H/Misogynist/Raw)
The Hurricane (F/Comic Book Hero/Raw)
Trish Stratus (F/Old School Face/Raw)
Val Venis (F/Adult Film Star/Raw)
Ernest Miller (F/Cool/Smackdown)
Maven (F/Blue Chipper/Raw)
Nova (F/No Gimmick Needed/Smackdown)
Christian York (TBA/TBA/TBA)
Joey Matthews (TBA/TBA/TBA)
Steve Blackman (TBA/TBA/TBA)

Lower Midcard:

Christopher Nowinski (H/Arrogant/Raw)
Chuck Palumbo (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Danny Basham (H/Masochist/Smackdown)
Doug Basham (H/Masochist/Smackdown)
Garrison Cade (T/Angry Young Man/Smackdown)
Jamie Noble (H/Trash/Smackdown)
John Heidenreich (F/Monster/Raw)
Johnny Stamboli (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Mark Henry (H/Legitimate Athlete/Raw)
Mark Jindrak (T/Angry Young Man/Smackdown)
Nunzio (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Orlando Jordan (Repackaged/TBA/Raw)
Rob Conway (H/Anti-USA/Raw)
Rodney Mack (H/Bad Ass/Raw)
Rosey (F/Comic Book Hero/Raw)
Shannon Moore (F/Underdog/Smackdown)
Spike Dudley (F/Underdog/Smackdown)
Steven Richards (T/Putz/Raw)
Sylvain Grenier (H/Anti-USA/Raw)
Victoria (T/Crazy/Raw)
Akio (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Paul London (F/No Gimmick Needed/Smackdown)
Sakoda (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Carlos Colon (F/Blue Chipper/Smackdown)
John Hennigan (H/Blue Chipper/Smackdown)
Matt Cappotelli (H/Blue Chipper/Smackdown)
Nick Dinsmore (H/No Gimmick Needed/Smackdown)

Openers:

Suzuki (H/Mafia/Smackdown)
Seven (H/Occult/Raw)
Travis Bane (H/Occult/Raw)

Jobbers:

Doc Dean (TBA/TBA/TBA)

Non Wrestlers:

Bill DeMott (T/Staff Member/Smackdown)
Booker T (F/Sucka/Raw)
Eric Bischoff (H/Evil Boss/Raw)
Jerry Lawler (F/Royalty/Raw)
Jonathan Coachman (H/Staff Member/Raw)
Paul Heyman (H/Authority Figure/Smackdown)
Shane McMahon (F/Cool/Raw)
Stephanie McMahon (F/Authority Figure/Smackdown)
Steve Austin (F/People's Boss/Raw)
Tazz (F/Staff

[Reflecto]

Member/Smackdown)
The Rock (H/Unique/Raw)
Vince McMahon (H/Unique)

Managers:

Miss Jackie (H/Seductress/Raw)
Nidia (F/Trash/Smackdown)
Ric Flair (H/Suave/Raw)
Shaniqua (H/Seductress/Smackdown)
Stacy Keibler (F/Dancer/Raw)
Theodore Long (H/Angry Minority/Raw)
Torrie Wilson (F/Cheerleader/Smackdown)
Alexis Laree (H/Cheerleader/Raw)


Well, I assume that is most of it...I haven't gotten a chance to get to wOw, and it really is almost a pain to go to their website unless I'm wrestling for them, so I've got to go- I'm due to practice in-ring to get this rust off. I'll see you!

(He doesn't want to, But I can...)

wOw Main Event:

None..yet...

Upper Midcarders:

Chris Hamrick (H, Racist)
Cibernetico (F, Bad Ass)
Danny Doring (F, Cocky)
Donovan Morgan (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Scoot Andrews (H, Old School Heel)
Tom Goddard (F, Teen Idol)

Midcarders:

Ace Steel (F, None)
Magical Girl Essa Rios (F, Gender Bender)
Finale (H, Evil)
Frankie Kazarian (F, Blue Chipper)
Rocky Romero (H, Cocky)

Lower Midcarders:

57U (F, Nerd)
Adam Knoxville (F, Putz)
Alan Barrio (F, Daredevil)
Barbara Vixen (H, Bitch)
Ben Skilly (H, Lackey)
Ben Vincent (H, Authority Figure)
Billy Boy Barrio (F, Daredevil)
Billy Kim (H, Obnoxious)
Brandon Downard (H, Old School Heel)
Brett Downard (F, Comedy Character)
Chief Knobbs (H, Authority Figure)
Chris Cassidy (F, Blue Chipper)
HeartBurnKid (F, Cocky)
Cyberfreak (F, Bad Ass)
Danny Hillstead (H, Obnoxious)
Dave Powers (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Dean Powers (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Dexter Hart (F, Impressionist)
Diablos (H, Old School Heel)
Eco-Hazard (H, Monster)
El Zorro (F, Mysterious)
Eminoh (H, Rapper)
Forest Yuhas (H, Extremist)
Greg Burch (F, Loner)
Halo wOw (F, Occult)
Histeria II (H, Highlight Reel)
Inita Ho (H, Savage)
Ironwood (F, Punk)
Jamie Kogyaru (F, Girl Power)
Japanese Ghost (F, Mysterious)
Jared Steele (F, Old School Face)
Jay Matthews (H, Arrogant)
Jayce Simmons (F, Teen Idol)
Jerrelle Clark (F, Daredevil)
Joey Hamm (F, Loner)
John Roche (F, Bad Ass)
Johnny Blaze wOw (F, Rapper)
Kangor (T, Man Beast)
Kevin Hayes (H, Evil Pimp)
Kevin Killgore (F, Cool)
Kid Vicious (F, Blue Chipper)
La Parka II (F, Fun Babyface)
Lady Apache (F, None)
Latin Lover (F, Suave)
Lori Angel (F, Girl Power)
Macabre (F, Gothic)
Marshall Knox (F, Cowboy)
Matrix (F, Mysterious)
Matt LaPlaca (H, Bad Ass)
Mike Knox (F, Cowboy)
Mikey Henderson (F, Show Stealer)
Milo (F, Fun Babyface)
Mosco de la Merced (F, None)
Mr.Productive Anal Virginity (F, Gay)
Naphtali (F, None)
Newtype (H, Old School Heel)
Nico (F, Foreign Star)
Paradise (H, Occult)
Pretty Manny (F, Gender Bender)
Prodigy wOw (H, Old School Heel)
PsykoSlash (F, Psycho)
Ricky Reyes (F, Cocky)
Sharon Goddard (H, Bitch)
Stavros (F, Foreign Star)
Steve Evans (F, Teen Idol)
Sugar Man (H, Lackey)
The Phantom (H, Comic Book Villain)
Underfaker (F, No Gimmick Needed)

Opener:

Andy Jaxx (F, None)
Big Tony (F, Mafia)
Caryn Mower (H, Bitch)
Chasyn Rance (F, None)
Chris Freestone (F, Comedy Character)
Cuervo (H, Gothic)
Curt Daniels (F, None)
David Babylon (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Decniss Barrio (F, Daredevil)
Dino Callas (F, Old School Face)
Dr. Heresy (H, Arrogant)
Erica Porter (F, Girl Power)
General Apathy (F, Punk)
Hy-Zaya (F, None)
John Boring (H, Old School Heel)
Johnny Vandal (F, Gangsta)
J-Rad (F, Egomaniac)
Justice (F, None)
King Arthur Pendragon (F, Royalty)
Lance Silva (H, None)
Lexie Fyfe (F, None)
Lil' Nate (F, Fun Babyface)
Mamoru-kun (F, Comic Book Hero)
Matt Sydal (F, None)
Melissa Coates (H, Legitimate Athlete)
Memphis Raines (F, None)
Mercedes Martinez (H, Tomboy)
Mike Kruel (F, No Gimmick Needed)
Miss Janeth (H, None)
Mr.Perfect II (F, No Gimmick Needed)
MR2 (F, None)
Nate Webb (H, None)
Patricio del Chulo (H, Gangsta)
Paul E. (F, Mafia)
Poison (H, Metalhead)
Richard J. Criado (F, Cocky)
Rio Storm (H, Bad Ass)
Roderick Strong (H, No Gimmick Needed)
Sara del Ray (F, Equality Fighter)
Seth Knight (H, Cheater)
Skag Rollins (H, Cheater)
Tiffany (H, None)
Tiga (F, Comic Book Hero)
Tony Cobuzzi (H, Lackey)
Trey Thomas (F, Old School Face)
XM6 (F, Nerd)
Yu Phuc Dup (H, Old School Heel)

Jobbers:

Bryce Samuels (H, Authority Figure)
Hand Maid Mully (F, Comedy Character)
Travis Corleone (H, Mafia)
Truth Martini (H, None)
Zeeboe (H, Dude)

(Managers to be introduced in diary because it's freakin' 5 a.m. and I've been posting this through for about 6 hours now.)

[Reflecto]

August 1:

Details:

No action- AWAMLW
No action- IWA-MS
No action- wOw

While I was looking for something to do that day, I got a call.

"Who is it?"

Voice: "The conquering hero, bro!"

"Shane! What's going on?"

Shane: "Just calling from a house show we're doing over in Rio de Janeiro- man, you won't believe it. All the title changes on this card...anyway, I wanted to make sure you watch tonight- I hear that my vignettes will start on HeaT!"

"Awesome! I guess it's really official- you've finally made it to the big time!"

Shane: "I know. It's amazing, huh? All this time I thought you'd make WWE first, man- why would anyone have wanted a broken-down guy out there 15 years with only one minor cup of coffee for ECW to his name?"

"Dude- do not say that. Admit to yourself- you've always been that good. Now the world's finally taking notice of just how good you are."

Shane: "I guess you're right. Got to go- keep wOw rocking for me!"

"You got it!" <<SWITCH>>

I proceeded to hang up the hotel phone. I hope Tom's going to watch the show tonight- knowing as many familiar faces will be seeing what they created for me as possible will be necessary. Luckily, they brought a tape of Heat over, so I was able to see what was going on...

HEAT RECAP

The pyro went off again as we were "welcomed" to another episode of Sunday Night Heat. He's Coach, he's Al Snow, and we're ready for the best B-Show action we can get! (L.Ron, somebody shoot me now...)

John Heidenreich v. Seven

John Heidenreich comes down to the ring first, which leads to questions: Why is this guy still jerking curtains? I mean, sure he's untalented and injures people, but...he's big! And...BIG! Come on, Vince, you need to push him- he's BIG! It looks like he'll get a win, as that dark music comes on, and we have the Darkness' Children, Seven and Bane. Well, we've got to go into BAH-GAWD HOSS MODE! Seven's got the matchup this time, as we get big generic brawling from the two of them. Seven does his somewhat decent style of brawling (I see good things from him...), while Little Johnny tries to counter by injuring him. Just when things looked bleakest, Bane headed in and interfered on Seven's behalf, leading to that nice Darkness Fall choke bomb of his for the win. At least the right big brawler won- and to boot, the Darkness' Children kicked Heidenreich's ass to boot! My prayers were answered...

(56,69,55- one of THOSE nights...)

Suddenly, a Road Agent came up and sat down next to me...

Road Agent: "Oh, Shane- watching the tape of Heat? You know, Seven gained a little overness after that matchup. It's too bad the fans think him and Bane's gimmick is weak, though..."

After the break, Theodore Long and Rodney Mack came out to assault my senses...

Long: "LEMME HOLLA AT YA PLAYA! Now, I don't know who the whitey be who's haterizin' on us, keepin' my boy Rodney Mack down, but I don't like it! B'lee dat! Not that this is anything new...I mean, when's there ever been a black world champion?" The fans kept shouting "Ron Killings" or "Booker T" to that aspect- and WWE thought the former was a waste and the latter wasn't worth the World Title...
"Hold up...I mean, when has the WWE ever had a black World Champion?" The fans chanted "Rocky"..."I meant to say...when has the WWE ever had a black World Champion who happened to be Thuggin' and Buggin', with Theodore Long? Never, that's when! B'Lee Dat,Playa!" Just then, Steven Richards came out- gee, I'm loaded with indifference to this match...

Steven Richards v. Rodney Mack

Memo to WWE: Fire Rodney Mack. Right now. I don't know what pictures Jazz must have of someone in Creative, but come on- you fired Billy Kidman despite him being married to Torrie, you can sure as hell Sack the Mack... Steven Richards tried his hardest to at least bring Mack to a watchable matchup, but to no avail, as Rodney Mack's black hole of heinositude sucked all the watchable nature from this matchup. Thankfully, the string of "white boys" who put over this guy didn't continue, as Richards beat him clean with a Stevie T. Wow...putting the right people over two in a row? Incredible...

(55, 65, 54)

After this match, a commercial aired for Smackdown Your Vote. According to this, they've managed to get nearly a half-million people so far to register to vote in the upcoming 2004 election, which isn't a bad thing. Remember, as was said by wrestler du jour this time (in this case, The Hurricane), "No matter who you vote for, Voting is the REAL Heroic thing to do!"

After the break, a vignette came on...

(INT. The mountains of Vermont. A sign came up on the TitanTron:)

"DOC DEAN ON: The Environment."

Doc Dean: "Hello, wrestling fans. Now, you may wonder why I am here, in the beautiful woods of Vermont. Quite simply, I am here to show all of you what ALL of America should be like! Here, the environmental problems so rampant in the rest of this country are almost nonexistent, the result of the great standards that were set here for years. This should prove what an environment should be like- not like what George W. Bush has done in this country. He tears up the natural beauty of America, he invades other countries to destroy their environment, and he does it all to line the pockets of him and his oil robber baron cronies! Because of this and the rest of the atrocities we have, I urge you all to rally behind me, so we can prove to everyone that THE DOC...IS...IN!"

Coach: "Oh, dear god, what the hell is up with this Doc Dean guy?"
Al Snow: "He's an Un-American, that's what he is!"
Coach: "That's right- if you don't like the way we do things here, well, 'Doc', GET THE 'F' OUT, and take these 'supporters' you have with you!"

(40)

The Dudley Boyz v. La Resistance

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before...La Resistance starts out on the offensive, making sure to do that "We're So Goddamned French" dance that makes everyone give them massive heel heat, as normal. Suddenly, The Dudley Boyz take the offensive because, well, they're the Dudleyz and that's what they do. From there, WASSUP! Diving headbutt (which still works- WASSUP! is so 2000, as is the Dudleyz' act), Tables are gotten, 3D, Dudleyz win again. Shouldn't they both be working indy shows as solos to spike ticket sales by now?

(74, 77, 67)

Val Venis v. Test

And the calvalcade of "They STILL work there?" guys continues- why these two survived the roster cuts a few months back and guys like Ultimo and Kanyon didn't is beyond me. To be fair, the two put on a fairly decent matchup, proving at least they still belong. Venis has always been underrated, and Test held his own in the match. Pretty believable ending, as Test wins cleanly with the Test Drive because, well, he's big and that's what gets you pushes. Not half bad matchup.

(70, 74, 64)

The Road Agent spoke up again, telling me something like "Test and Val Venis's gimmicks don't work well" and "they're losing overness- we need to salvage them...", but I didn't care, because I heard my vignette would be after their matchup's break...


<<(INT. A green screen shows up, with a sign in the middle similar to a motion picture rating:)

"The Following has been rated "R" for Violence, Slight Language, and Large amounts of Attitude."

The screen went dark as words came onto the screen...

V/O: "For too long, people have said I didn't have what it takes."

On-screen: "Considered the feel-good story of 2004..."

V/O: "They said I didn't have what it took- it was time to wind it down. The young guns had passed me by."

On-screen: "An Epic 15 Years in the Making..."

V/O: "But now, when push comes to shove, and it's finally time for them to see what it is that I've got, all I can say is..."

On-Screen: " '...The Breakout Performance of 2004...A[n]...Star [is] Born!'- Some Internet Smark who thinks he knows everything about wrestling but can't because he's not in the business because if he was of course he'd realize Billy Gunn and A-Train are the greatest wrestlers in the universe so ha ha..." (the onscreen graphics give way to a face indy marks would recognize as Shane Goddard.)

Face: "...Time to Steal the Show!"

(A montage follows to "Same Old Song", including scenes of car chases and shootouts interspersed with scenes of Shane Goddard wrestling. After around 30 seconds, the shot ends...)

V/O: "These WWE guys may be good...but they're no SUPERSTAR..."

On-Screen:

SHANE GODDARD

Coming Soon to an Arena Near You...>>

(79)

I was ecstatic! The vignette came out better than I thought it would. Apparently, they really are serious about pushing me. I was already walking on air, to the point where I couldn't even pay attention to the other two matches on the card, which I heard went:

Batista d. Maven cleanly by Sit-Out Powerbomb 74, 56, 62

Matt Hardy d. Lance Storm via interference by 'Sexy MF'er' Alexis Laree (77,82, 71)

(60)

I can't wait for tomorrow- they said they'll be building me up for a few weeks more, so there may be more vignettes to come. I can definitely see this'll be a fun ride...

(To Be Continued...)