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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:30:46 GMT -5
BWF Saturday Night Insanity Uncasville, CT _________________________________________________________
Guns-N-Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle" hits once again, as the camera pans around the crowd at the BWF's latest stop, the Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Connecticut! We get a look at some crowd signs for this week:
"HURRICANE THERESA.....MARRY ME!" "SAMURAI SECTION" "CANNONBALL FEARS MY GRANDMA" "FOR SALE: ONE FORKLIFT, SLIGHTLY USED" "YES, SHE'S LOST HER MIND"
The camera then settles on the usual announce team..Casey is wearing a lime-green tux this week, Coach has exchanged the Celtics jersey for a Hartford Whalers one, and Dolan is dressed in his usual button-down shirt and slacks combo.
DOLAN:"Folks, we are live from Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, Connecticut! We thank you for joining us for Insanity once again and, folks..we expect to hear from El Espectro del Muerte tonight regarding the status of Big Steve Grant!" COACH:"Whatevah da psycho did ta'im, I hope someone fixes 'im fer good!" CASEY:"For once you're right, Coach...........don't get used to it, though."
"Cotton-Eye Joe" by the Rednex hits as a tall, slender man wearing denim overalls and cowboy boots makes his way to the ring
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"The following Championship Tournament Qualifying Match is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring......from Spittle County, Arkansas.........weighing in at 217 lbs., the Raging Redneck, BUBBA TRAYWICK!!!!!!"
COACH:"Spittle County? Nevah hoida it...." DOLAN:"I'm not surprised..it's very small and obscure, and Bubba here hopes to put it on the map by becoming a 'somebody' here in the BWF. CASEY:"Jeez....since when has anyone from Hicksville, Arkansas done anything important? Traywick, you wanna be somebody? MOVE."
The instrumental backbeat from a rap song hits as a shortish young Caucasian man in a white tanktop, denim shorts, high-tops, and about 17 chains around his neck makes his way down to the ring, with a microphone in his hand.....
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"And his opponent.......from Watts, California and weighing in at 187 lbs......JONNY BLING!"
Jonny Bling puts the mic to his mouth.......
JONNY BLING: "Yo, yo, yo.. Jonny Bling in the house.
Tonight, the Commish has me fighting Bubba Traywick You think I'm scared of some Spittle County redneck? Trust me, buddy, I don't think I'm beneath Some guy who can use one hand to count his teeth And overalls and cowboy boots? Who the hell your tailor? Wait, I forgot, you all dress like that in trailers I'm gonna beat you, 1-2-3, pal, that ain't no snowjob. You'll be crying in your trailer, while your sister's giving you a *BEEEEP!*"
Jonny Bling throws down the microphone as the crowd boos, although he does get a few laughs for his clever lyrics.
CASEY:"HA!" DOLAN:"Um..he does have a way with words, I'll give him that much." COACH:"I hope da censahs catch dat one..."
Bubba Traywick immediately rockets at the rapper, and takes him down with a running clothesline as the bell rings.
DOLAN:"Traywick told me earlier, and I quote...'I may be a lightweight, but I ain't no damn Mexican jumping bean.' Apparently, that means he's more brawler than high-flyer, despite his size."
Traywick stomps on the fallen Bling a few times before Bling manages to grab Traywick's leg and pull him down by it. Bling then climbs the turnbuckle and comes off with a guillotine leg drop on Traywick.
COACH: "Nice comeback dere....."
Traywick gets back to his feet and hits a series of punches on Bling, forcing him into the corner, only for Bling to spring up to the turnbuckle and fly off with a dropkick to Traywick. Bling then hits a standing moonsault on Traywick that only gets a one-count.
COACH:"Bling's on fiah tonight!"
Traywick is up and hits Bling with a big boot that leaves the rapper dizzy. Traywick then climbs a turnbuckle and raises his fist in the air.
TRAYWICK:"YEEEEEE-HAAAAAAA!!!!!"
DOLAN:"He's signaling for his finisher, the 'Rebel Yell'!"
Traywick flies off the top rope with a clothesline. but Bling comes to, and gets out of the way, causing Traywick to hit nothing but canvas.
CASEY:"HA!" DOLAN:"And Traywick missed the Rebel Yell! Can Bling take advantage?"
Bling takes the still standing Traywick and Irish whips him into the corner, then goes over and lifts him up on the turnbuckle, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner!
DOLAN:"The Head Ringer! That might just do it!"
Bling covers and referee Melissa Stone goes in for the count.
STONE:"One!.......
"Two!........
"THREE!" ROBIN LeGRANDE:"Your winner.....JONNY BLING!"
COACH:"An' it looks like da rappah will be advancin' ta da toinament." CASEY:"And he definitely deserves it more than Trailer Boy. Go home, Hicksville, if your sister hasn't driven it away." DOLAN:"Um....moving on, we have an interesting match up next, between two women's tag teams......this seems unusual as I don't believe any other women's tag teams have signed up here in the BWF as of yet. #nosmileys#nosmileys
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:32:24 GMT -5
"Born on the Bayou" by Creedence Clearwater Revival hits as two women, one tall with dark hair, and the other short with light brown hair come to the ring. Both are wearing blue, traditional women's one-piece singlets with matching elbowpads, kneepads, and boots. They slap hands with some fans on their way down to the ring.
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"The following women's tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from New Orleans, Louisiana, at a total combined wieight of 254 lbs....Deanne and Paulette....THE FABULOUS DEROUGE SISTERS!"
The deRouge's enter the ring and raise their arms high.
COACH:"Whaddaya know about dese two, Tom?" DOLAN:"They're Louisiana Cajuns, born and raised, and they say that there's nobody tougher than a Cajun, and that goes for the women as well.....they also say that they were always taught strong values, and believe in fair play and sportsmanship." CASEY:"Hey, deRouges, 1989 called, it wants its tag team back!"
Rage Agaisnt the Machine's "Bulls on Parade" hits as two Asian women wearing red martial arts gis with black vests over them come out, one has long hair and the other's is short. The short-haired one carries the pre-Chinese reclamation flag of Hong Kong
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "And their opponents........from Hong Kong......at a total combined weight of 252 lbs......Sun and Hiu.........THE DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON!"
COACH:"Daughters o' da Dragon?" DOLAN:"Yes...these two come to us from Hong Kong, where they were very active opponents of Chinese rule. They are also skilled martial artists, and great technicians as well." CASEY:"So we have Cajuns vs. Asians! HA!"
The Daughters of the Dragon enter the ring, the short-haired one placing her flag in a corner of the ring apron, the two then bow to the deRouges, who awkwardly return the bow. The bell rings and the dark-haired de Rouge starts off with the short-haired Daughter of the Dragon.
DOLAN:"That would be Deanne and Sun starting us off........"
Deanne grpaples with Sun and manages a headlock takedown on her. Sun gets to her feet shortly thereafter and hits a series of kicks on Deanne before giving her a double arm suplex. Deanne gets to her feet and goes around Sun's back, delivering a German suplex, which Sun backflips out of.
COACH:"What an exchange!" CASEY:"BOOOOOOORIIIIIING!!! Where's the clawing, the hair-pulling, the tearing at clothes?" DOLAN:"CASEY! You know that's not how we do things in our women's division here! And besides, it's refreshing to see two teams so concerned with honor and fairness."
Sun hits a dropkick on Deanne, then tags in Hiu. Sun returns to the outside immediately, and Hiu continues the assault with a kicking combination. Deanne is down on the mat, but Hiu does not attack her when she's down, and actually allows her to tag in Paulette unhindered.
DOLAN:"And here comes Paulette deRouge!"
Paulette is in and she gives Hiu a belly-to-belly suplex then helps her back up, at which point they grapple again, and she delivers a Rock Bottom!
DOLAN:"The Cajun Crusher! Will that do it?"
Paulette goes for the cover, and referee John Brown goes in to make the count
BROWN:"One!.....
Two!......":
Surprisingly, Sun makes no effort to break up the pin
THREE!!!!"
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"Your winners.....THE FABULOUS DEROUGE SISTERS!"
The referee raises the DeRouge's hands, the deRouges then appraoch the Daughters of the Dragon..and offer a handshake to them..The Daughters accept it, and the crowd goes nuts for all four.
COACH:"Dat's a real class act on bot' teams in da match. I'm impressed." CASEY:"She didn't even TRY to help her partner..what kind of team is that?" DOLAN:"Well, I believe Barry O may have a chance to ask them...."
Indeed, Barry O is in the ring with all four women.
BARRY O:"Hello, BWF fans! I'm still your roving reporter Barry O, at least I hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Well, I'm standing here with the deRouge Sisters and the Daughters of the Dragon, who I have to ask...why didn't you use any of the traditional tag team tricks of the trade? Double teams, atacking a downed opponent, and the like."
DEANNE:"Values, Barry, me an' Paulette here been taught to always be honest an' fair, growin' up down in Loosian', and we bringin' dat phi-los-o-phy to de ring." SUN:"For the Daughters of the Dragon, the answer is honor. A true martial artist does not attack a downed opponent, or assault a single opponent in groups."
Hiu raises the Hong Kong flag high int he air and takes the mic. HIU: "FREE HONG KONG!"
The deRouges smile, and all four women leave the ring.
BARRY O:"You heard it here first......back to the desk."
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:34:06 GMT -5
CASEY:"Oh God..give me a break, what was that, an after-school special? 'Fight fair', 'True martial artists'.....shut up." COACH:"Dey had a point.....dey definitely had a point." DOLAN:"Yes, they did."
"Bungle in the Jungle" by Jethro Tull hits as a tall, slenderly built black man with a closely shaved head; wearing a long, red dashiki comes to the ring, flanked by a virtual small army of individuals in various forms of African dress, at the front of the procession is a man wearing a turban and a business suit.
COACH:"What da hell.....? Tom?" DOLAN:"This is our next competitor, I believe..but that doesn't explain the legion of followers."
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "The following Championship Tournament Qualifying Match is scheduled for one fall! Now coming to the ring....hailing from Kenya and weighing in at 268 lbs......being accompanied to the ring by Rashaad Kaari and the royal court........His Royal Highness, PRINCE KALA!!!!"
COACH:"An African Prince? Where da hell do we find dese people?" DOLAN:"Yes, his..ahem, Highness is a Masai prince from Kenya, and the BWF's recruitment drives were worldwide, apparently the prince's court got word, and the prince, wanting to prove himself a true warrior of the Masai, answered the call." CASEY:"Well, maybe His Majesty can bring some culture and international flavor to the BWF."
The turban-clad man and Prince Kala enter the ring as the attendants return to the back. The turban-clad gentleman takes the microphone and gestures toward the prince..
DOLAN:"I believe that the remaining attendant is Rashaad Kaari, who is Prince Kala's top advisor and liaison to the Kenyan govenrnment and western world.."
RASHAAD:"Greetings and Salutations! The Masai people and Kenyan government would like to give you American commoners a chance, perhaps your only chance, to witness royalty! Look at yourselves, you uncultured..what is the term?....Oh yes, Slobs! Look at yourselves and then, look at the man you cannot be, the man you wish you were, the mighty, the royal, the awe-inspiring Prince Kala! His Majesty is here to impress you, although in your embarrassment of a nation, that is a very simple task, so sit back, consume your 'hot dogs', and 'cheese fries', and other poor excuses for food your country produces, and watch how a true Prince and true warrior defeats his foe!"
The crowd is booing His Majesty and his advisor as Rashaad exits the ring and Prince Kala removes his dashiki, revealing long red wrestling tights with gold trim, and red & gold boots; although he seems uncomfortable with the Western style of dress upon revealing it.
COACH:"What da Hell is his problem? If he's got a problem wit' da good ol' U.S.A., he can come ovah heah an' run his mouth, and I'll take him ta da School O' Hahd Knocks!" DOLAN:"Easy, Coach..but he does seem quite arrogant. Not so much anti-American as just very supportive of the African Masai lifestyle." CASEY:"Woohoo! You tell 'em, Rashaad! I might be American, but I'm a cultured one!" COACH:"Casey, da only cultcha ya got is growin' between yah toes."
Beck's "Loser" hits as the camera moves to the entryway. The song continues playing for quite a bit before two road agents can be seen shoving a street clothes-clad "Quick" Rick Lawton toward the ring.
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "And his opponent, from Cincinnatti, Ohio, weighing in at 235 lbs...'QUICK' RICK LAWTON!!!!!"
CASEY:"HA! The Prince deserves a bigger challenge...is the Cannonball Kid busy tonight?" COACH:"Casey...I hate ta say it, butcha got a point....at least Cannonball TRIES to fight his opponent."
Lawton slowly approaches the ring, occasionally attempting to double back before catching sight of the two road agents blocking the entrance, then eventually gets into the ring, and stares up in fear of the much taller Prince Kala. As the bell rings, Lawton backs away from the advancing Kala before reaching into his jeans pocket and handing a bundle of cash to the prince.
DOLAN:"I've seen everything. I doubt the prince understands American money, though."
Indeed, Kala merely stares confusedly at the green paper before throwing it to the mat and knocking Lawton to his knees with an effortless-looking open palm strike.
COACH:"Ouch! Well, dat didn't woik, now did it?"
Lawton is begging on his knees for Kala to not attack him, while Rashaad screams at the prince from the outside. Kala just picks Lawton up and plants him with a chokeslam and then jumps on Quick Rick with a double-foot stomp before doing a more standard stomp-and-kick maneuver on the fallen Lawton. Lawton slowly gets to his feet, then runs away, backing into the corner, and then climbing the turnbuckle, only to be tossed off by His Majesty.
DOLAN:"Lawton, the coward that he is, attempting to flee Prince Kala, but gets tossed off the top rope for his trouble."
The Prince then pickes Lawton up and gives him a spinning belly-to-belly suplex befgore picking him up again and delivering a Gutwrench Powerbomb.
DOLAN:"Gutwrench Powerbomb! I think Lawton's done!" CASEY:"Don't mess with royalty, Rick!"
Kala goes for the cover as referee Melissa Stone goes in for the count
STONE:"ONE!......
TWO!........
THREE!!!!"
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"Your winner......PRINCE KALA!!!!!!!" #nosmileys
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:35:19 GMT -5
"Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne hits as Loki rockets down to the ring.
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"The following Championship Tournament Qualifying Match is scheduled for one fall! Now coming to the ring, hailing from Somewhere on the Planet Earth and weighing in at 205 lbs...LOKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
COACH:"Oh great..da nutball's back"
Loki runs around the ring twice before flipping over the top rope into it and climbing a turnbuckle then backflipping off of it, before doing a few cartwheels. Eventually, he stops.
Loki awaits his opponent as his music fades out, to be replaced by....."Crazy Train"?
CASEY:"What the......?" DOLAN:"Um, well.....Staci, I think we're having a sound problem...."
A man then makes his way to the ring, wearing a black shirt and pants, round-lensed dark glasses, and a bad light brown wig staggers to the ring as if confused.
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"And his opponent, from Great Britain by way of Beverly Hills, California....weighing in at 220 lbs..........BRANDON OSBOURNE!!!!!!!"
COACH:"So, dis is da new signin', den?" DOLAN:"Yes, this is Brandon apparently...but I have no insight into this persona."
'Osbourne' takes the mic
BRANDON:"Aaaaawriiiitedaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyahse- thiiiiiiissssyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaavvthr.........."
Loki simply slaps the taste out of the ersatz Osbourne's mouth during the impression, at which point Brandon responds with a dragon screw
DOLAN:"Well, he's apparently a fun guy, but make him mad and he gets serious."
Brandon fires Loki into the corner wih some solid right hands, only for Loki to hit a Tornado DDT on him. Brandon gets back up and hits a dropkick which dizzies Loki, then hits the Laughing Man with a hurricanrana.
COACH:" Don't let da outfit fool ya...Brandon means business!"
Loki gets up and hits a dropkick on Brandon, but Brandon is right back up amd grabs him in a headlock, then screams out "SHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!" before delivering a Twist of Fate!
DOLAN:"It says he calls that the 'Identity Crisis'."
Brandon goes for the pin, as referee Lawrence Smith goes in to make the count.
SMITH:"ONE!.....
TWO!.....
THREE!!!!"
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"Your winner.......BRANDON OSBOURNE!"
DOLAN:"And Brandon will be advancing to the tournament........"
Suddenly, Loki gets up, and hurls Brandon into the corner with an Irish whip, then runs over and carries him up to the top, then the two crash down in a Super DDT!
CASEY: "HA! What's he call that, Tom? Huh? What does he call it?" DOLAN: "The 'Last Laugh', I believe..let's just move on, shall we?" #nosmileys#nosmileys
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:36:27 GMT -5
"By Demons Be Driven" by Pantera hits as two very large men wearing leather pants, metallic-looking chestgear, and elaborately-designed facepaint make their way to the ring. One's head is shaved and the other has short hair which is dyed neon blue.
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown and at a total combined weight of 790 lbs., HELLFIRE and BRIMSTONE, the ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION!!!!!!"
CASEY: "Hey, look, we signed the Road Warriors! But I thought Hawk was dead......?" COACH: "Casey, now dat's goin' too fah! Way too fah!" DOLAN: "Um, well, these two, obviously, um, inspired by groups like the Road Warriors and Demolition...but I hear these two are quite impressive."
The Notre Dame Fight Song hits as Lonnie and Steve Norris head out to the ring....but before they can even be introduced, Da Wiseguys run out behind them with steel chairs and begin beating them down!
CASEY:"HA! This is beautiful.....just beautiful!" COACH:"I'd say it's sickenin'."
The Norris Brothers are completely incapacitated, as Don Francisco laughs from behind his enforcers.....Until the Big-Screen sparks to life with a shot of Commissioner Jared Mello in his office
JARED:"So, Wiseguys......you guys think you're going to just take out the Norris Brothers before their match? Well, that wasn't so wise after all.........you see, since there's now an empty slot on the card, and you're responsible...the Engine of Destruction's opponents are now.....YOU!! Later!"
COACH:"YEAH!" CASEY: "NO!"
Don Francisco begins to panic as the Commissioner fades from the Big-Screen, but Da Wiseguys do enter the ring as Crusher Risotti starts off with the blue-haired Engine of Destruction member
DOLAN:"That's Brimstone starting off with Risotti. This should be interesting."
Risotti and Brimstone trade punches for a while, until Brimstone bodyslams Risotti and then hits him with a fistdrop followed by a double-foot stomp on his chest.
COACH: "Dis'll show Da Wiseguys! Don't cross da boss!"
Brimstone tags in Hellfire as Risotti attempts to tag in Modonni, but the Engine catches him and hit him with a double-team reverse DDT
DOLAN: "The Engine of Destruction, certainly an aggressive duo in the ring." CASEY: "This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening...."
As Brimstone returns to his corner, Risotti manages to tag in Modonni, who comes in and runs into Hellfire with a clothesline, but it seems to have no effect! Modonni then kicks Hellfire in the midsection...still no results
CASEY: "My God...are these freaks even human?"
Don Francisco leaps on the apron to try to turn the tables...but Hellfire just knocks him off! Risotti enters the ring, and while the referee is dealing with him, Brimstone enters, and the two drill Bruiser Modonni with a Spike Piledriver!
DOLAN :"The Total Destruction! That might just do it!"
Hellfire covers Modonni as referee John Brown goes in to make the count
BROWN: "ONE!......
TWO!.......
THREE!!!"
CASEY: "GAH!! Well, at least it's over!" DOLAN: "Yes, let's go to Erica Chekov, who is standing by with 'Big Dawg' Shawn Hicks and his manager, Justine."
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:38:40 GMT -5
We're in the Gorilla Position, where Erica is standing by with a tall, powerfully-built black man wearing a leather vest and blue jeans; and a dark-haired girl wearing the most 'preppie' outfit you've ever seen..it looks like Laura Ashley threw up on her.
ERICA: "I am here with 'Big Dawg' Shawn Hicks and Justine.....Shawn, tonight you face Ron Paris, who was quite impressive when he played college football for the Crimson Tide...your comments?"
Shawn grabs the mic
SHAWN:"PARIS! You want to mess with this?! I'm the toughest....."
Justine pulls the mic away.
JUSTINE:"Shawn, baby, no offense or anything, but why don't you, like, let me handle this interview? You are, like, totally, such a drag on the stick sometimes, it's like, totally, not even funny.....
Alright, like, this man here, he is, totally, the baddest man in the Bigtime Wrestling Federation, fer sure. So if you think you can get past him, Paris, that is so, like, not true. You, like, think you can beat the Big Dawg? Grody...... c'mon, Shawn, let's go."
Shawn and Justine leave....
ERICA: "Back to you guys....."
Back at the ring area, "Ruff Ryderz' Anthem" by DMX hits as Shawn Hicks and Justine head out to the ring
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "The following Championship Tournament Qualifying Match is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way to the ring, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and weighing it at 380 lbs.........being accompanied to the ring by Justine.....'BIG DAWG' SHAWN HICKS!""
Hicks enters the ring with Justine remaining on the outside. Shawn raises both fists in the air and awaits his opponent.
CASEY: "What do you know about the musclehead here, Tom?" DOLAN: "Would you stop, Casey? Well, Shawn Hicks says he's here to, and I quote 'kick ass and take names' He met Justine when she had moved to Philly from California, and the two have beeen inseperable since then." COACH: "Opposites attract, I guess..."
"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits as a muscular individual with reddish-brown short hair wearing a #50 Crimson Tide football jersey and blue jeans makes his way to the ring, accompanied by a dark-haired woman wearing a red tanktop and a short white skirt.
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "And his opponent, from Mobile, Alabama and weighing in at 365 lbs........being accompanied to the ring by Crystal Martin.......RON PARIS!!!!"
Ron Paris enters the ring and signals for a mic.....
PARIS:"Let me tell ya somethin'! Ah played college football.......Ah'm a damn real athlete, not like all these other 'pro-rasslers' aroun' here! Y'all gonna see what Ah got! Let's go, loser!"
The crowd boos Paris' speech as Paris is apparently enraged.
DOLAN: "Paris, not endearing himself to the crowd with this 'real athlete' platform" CASEY: "Well, he's got a point.....I mean, he does have experience outside of the wrestling business." COACH: "Casey, dese wrestlahs train jus' as hahd as, if not hahdah den, at'letes in any udda sport." DOLAN: "Well said, Coach, well said."
Paris and Hicks stare each other down for a bit, until Hicks strikes first with a big right fist that sends Paris down! Hicks then picks Paris up and hits him with a bearhug slam, then drops an elbow on him. Paris gets back up and hits Hicks with a series of right hands that send him itno the corner.
COACH: "Innerestin' match heah, we got a coupla brawlahs goin' at it."
Paris comes charging into Hicks with a spear to the corner, but Hicks recovers and hits Paris with a double powerbomb! Crystal Martin jumps on the apron Paris recovers and goes for a pin on "Big Dawg", but the referee is busy dealing with Crystal!
DOLAN: "Things may be backfiring here!"
This gives Hicks time enough to get up and drill Paris with a Tombstone Piledriver, as Justine pulls Crystal off the apron.
DOLAN:"Tombstone! That might do it!" CASEY: "GAH!"
Big Dawg pins Paris as referee Lawrence Smith goes in to count the pin
SMITH:"ONE!.........
TWO!........
THREE!!"
ROBIN LeGRANDE:""Your winner.........'BIG DAWG' SHAWN HICKS!!!!"
CASEY:"No! No! Dammit! Why?" COACH:"Casey, shu.....hold da phone!"
Paris is back up, and begins yelling at Crystal Martin on their way up the ramp.
DOLAN :"It seems Paris is blaming Crystal for this loss....we'll be right back, folks."
(Go to commercial) #nosmileys
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Post by Jared Steele on Mar 6, 2004 10:41:26 GMT -5
Upon return from commercial, Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams Are Made of This" is playing as El Espectro del Muerte and Rhyannon make their way toward the ring to a chorus of boos. The pair enter the ring as Rhyannon takes the mic
RHYANNON: "Silence! The Dark Lord is about to speak! Do not show such disrespect!"
Rhyannon hands the mic to Espectro
ESPECTRO:"To all gathered here...to those who view from their homes...to those who serve the light....you wonder what has come of the one you call Steve Grant......he has been converted to the cause, he has seen the darkness, declined the light. But Big Steve Grant is no more, now there is only...Leviathan."
Static-X's "The Trance is the Motion" hits as the enourmous Big Steve Grant arrives at tthe ring, brown hair dyed jet black, a black pattern painrted on his face, his lips painted black, and wearing a black leather vest and black pants with holes in the side..they resemble fishnets.
COACH: "Dear God in Heaven....."" CASEY: "I doubt Heaven has anything to do with this, Coach."
ESPECTRO: "This is Leviathan! The first! The first to be taken by the darkness! The Army of the Night has begun..and nobody is safe. Fear us, fear the darkness. We are your end. Now bring on Leviathan's first victim....who shall be sacrificed?"
Metallica's "Seek and Destroy" hits.
DOLAN:"That music can only mean one thing: Ace Diamond is here!"
Indeed, Ace Diamond approaches the ring with determination, and apparently with no fear.
ROBIN LeGRANDE: "The following match is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, hailing from Tartarus and weighing in at 500 pounds, LEVIATHAN!! And his opponent...from Providene, Rhode Island and weighing in at 247 lbs.......ACE DIAMOND!!!!!"
COACH: "Well, apparen'ly someone ain't scared!" CASEY: "Ace Diamond? Oh boy..." DOLAN: "Maybe he can slay the beast, as it were."
Espectro and Rhyannon exit the ring, but remain at ringside as Diamond enters. The bell rings, and Ace attempts a suplex of some sort, but can't lift the big man off his feet. After a couple more attempts, Leviathan merely clotheslines him down before beginning a series of kicks and stomps on the fallen Diamond
DOLAN: "Diamond cannot use his vast array of suplexes on the five hundred pounder....he's going to need a new strategy here."
Diamond gets up and again attmepts a suplex, but no luck....Diamond then simply begins using a series of knife-edge chops to Leviathan's chest..nothing. Luckily, a double-leg takedown manages to bring down the big man and Diamond then locks on a Boston Crab. but Leviathan powers out of it, tossing Diamond off. Belly to Belly suplex from Leviathan is followed up with the Big Splash.
Rhyannon slinks over to the desk and whispers something in Tom Dolan's ear
DOLAN:"Um..Rhyannon has just informed me that that move is now known as the Splash from Hell."
Referee Jesse Kensington goes in to count the pin.
KENSINGTON: "ONE!......
TWO!.......
THREE!!!!"
ROBIN LeGRANDE:"Your winner.......LEVIATHAN!!"
Espectro and Rhyannon enter the ring.
DOLAN:"Oh please...haven't they done enough damage?"
As they go in, apparently to beat down Diamond, all of a sudden, a white light bathes the arena as a glowing cross appears on the Big-Screen and a Gregorian chant comes over the PA system.
CASEY:"What the Hell is going on?"
VOICE:"The darkness can never triumph...Good shall defeat evil....Your end is near."
DOLAN:"Folks, that's the show..we'll update you next week if we know any more... good night!"
Close up of Espectro as Insanity goes off the air. #nosmileys
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