BWF Saturday Night Insanity

[Jared Steele]

BWF Saturday Night Insanity
Long Island, NY
_______________________________________________________________________

The strains of Guns-N-Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle" hit once again as the camera pans around the audience at Long Island's Nassau Collosseum! We get some audience signs, including:

"LEVIATHAN, TWO WORDS: JENNY CRAIG"
"DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON 0WNZ J00!"
"LONG LVE THE PRINCE"
"WHERE'S GEORGE WASHING MACHINE?"
"RICK LAWTON FEARS EVERYTHING"

We then finish that pan of the audience and settle on the anbnounce team of Tom Dolan, dressed as usual, Casey Masters in a purple tuxedo, and Coach Steve Morelli, sporting a New York Islanders jersey.

DOLAN: "Welcome to Saturday Night Insanity once again! You know guys, even though it's only been a week since the last show, for some odd reason that week since the last BWF action felt like three months!"
COACH: "Ya know, I kinda got da same feelin'....b'zah."
CASEY: "What the hell are you two goi....no, you're right..I felt it too. Really weird stuff."

"The Anthem" by Good Charlotte hits, as BWF Commissioner Jared Mello makes his way out to the ring. He enters the ring and takes a mic

MELLO: "Hello, Long Island!!!" (Cheap pop) "Alright! I have an annoucnemnt about our first PPV......in addition to the World Title on the line in the tournament at Inception, there will be a Tag Turmoil match for the BWF Tag Team Titles, and a Women's Title Battle Royal!"

DOLAN:"That should be very intersting"

MELLO: "On to other business....,you know, as much as I love this job, there's been a real thorn in my side lately....a thorn named El Espectro del Muerte! Now, these nutjobs, Espectro and Rhyannon come into the BWF, I give them a chance to be part of the roster, and they start setting people on fire, kidnapping and brainwashing other stars...and it's just pretty damn sickening....I don't have the power to fire these people, that lies with the Board of Directors...and even though I could suspend them, I won't, because I don't think that'd be fair after I made them aware that I'd suspend them if they put their hands on me again.....I won't just suspend them out of nowhere when that hasn't happenned. I'd just like Espectro to know, that as for what you've done to Steve Gra---excuse me, Leviathan, that makes me pretty damn sick, but again, I can't do anything about it right now. But Espectro, I'm not going to make things easy for you. You do not want to make the BWF Commissioner angry. Just remember..I will be keeping an eye on you. To this wonderful audience, enjoy the rest of the show..I'm outta here!"

"The Anthem" hits again as the Commish makes his exit.

COACH: "Tom, Casey, i gotta ask...have eida of ya evah seen da Coimmish dat seriously cheesed off?"
DOLAN: "We got an inkling of that when he confronted Espectro two weeks ago, but that isn't really like our Commissioner, I'll admit"
CASEY: "Ehh, you guys worry too much..I'd act like that too in his shoes."#nosmileys

[Jared Steele]

"Renegade" by Styx hits as a tall, slender man with dark hair and a goatee, wearing long Italian flag-colored tights and an open short-sleeved black shirt makes his way down to the ring

ROBIN LEGRANDE: "The following Championship Tournamnet Qualifying Match is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way to the ring..from the Little Italy section of New York City, New York.....weighing in at 213 lbs......VINNIE RINALDI!"

DOLAN: ""An interesting case here with Rinaldi, as he recently finshed serving a prison term, and is looking to get a new start here in the BWF now that he's paid his debt to society."
COACH: "Sounds like a dangerous man"
CASEY: "Oh please, like Tom said, he's paid his debt...even if he is dangerous, I'm sure he can keep it focused in the ring"

"Surfin' USA" by the Beach Boys then hits as a shortish man with red hair and a goatee, wearing a hawaiian shirt and orange beach shorts makes his way to the ring

ROBIN: "And his opponent......from Honolulu, Hawaii....weighing in at 220 lbs.....JOHHNY TSUNAMI!"

COACH: "Whaddaya got on Tsunami heah, Tom?"
DOLAN :"Well, he's lived most of his adult life in Hawaii, although he wasn't born there, due to absolutely falling in love with Hawaiian culture...before going itno wrestling, he was considering the competitve surfing circuit."
CASEY: "Great, so no dedication to the business....that's nice to know."

Rinaldi and Tsunami shake hands, but Rinaldi gives Tsunami a shortarm clothesline from the position

CASEY:"HA!"
COACH: "Dammit, I knew dis guy was trouble!"

Rinaldi then locks a chinlock on the fallen Tsunami, which Tsunami powers out of, hiptossing Rinaldi off. Rinaldi gets to his feet and receives a hurricanrana from Tsunami, then gets up again, ducks a clothesline from Tsunami, and hits him with a backdrop. Rinaldi climbs the ropes and gives Tsunami a knee drop from the top turnbuckle. Tsunami is clutching his modsection as Rinaldi pciks him up and whips him into the corner

DOLAN:"Rinaldi is on a roll..not sure what he's gonna try here."

Rinaldi approaches Tsunami, who tries to fight out of the corner, but Rinaldi hooks a headlock and runs on the ropes in a Sliced Bread #2-type move

DOLAN:"The Trip Up The River!"
CASEY:"This one's over!"

Rinaldi goes for the cover as referee Melissa Stone goes in for the count

STONE:"One!.......

"Two!......

"THREE!!!!"

ROBIN: "Your winner, Vinnie Rinaldi!!!"

Rinaldi kicks a downed Tsunami once for good measure before leaving the ring, as we go back to the announce desk

COACH:"I toldja..da guy's trouble...dat win was fought hard, but not exactly fought faiah"
DOLAN:"Indeed, that opening sneak attack was probably all that started Rinaldi on such a roll"
CASEY:"Would you two knock it off? A win is a win, a loss is a loss..he won, it's over."
#nosmileys

[Jared Steele]

"The Wreckoning" by Boomkat is blaring as a short youung woman wearing a black tanktop and long blue tights hits the ring, playing to the crowd

ROBIN: "The following women's match is scheduled fpor one fall! Introducing, from Atlanta, Georgia and weighing in at 105 pounds..........JENNI KNOXVIlLE!"

DOLAN :"The young Jenni Knoxville, possibly the smallest wrestler on the BWF roster, but from what I've heard, what she lacks in size or strength she makes up for with enthusiasm."
CASEY:"Yeah,. but enthusiasm doesn't win matches, now does it?"

As Jenni steps into the ring, "Doll Parts" by Hole hits as a young woman with short dark hair and a scar near her right eye, wearing long dark red tights and a whte tanktop with "PSYCHO DOLL" scrawled on it in blood red writing, slowly walks to the ring, almost as if in a fog

ROBIN: "And her opponent..........hailing from the Fringes of Sanity.........weighing in at 115 pounds....... she is the 'Psycho Doll', DEVYN DREZDEN!"

COACH: "Psycho Doll....? Ya know what, don' tell me, Tom, I don' even WANNA know!"
DOLAN: "That's a relief, Coach, because my records don't have much on her...beyond what Robin already had to say in the ring intorduction, I have next to no information on this young woman."
CASEY: "So for once you guys are clueless...I mean, Coach is always clueless, but that's new for you, Tom....."

Devyn enters the ring and simply stares at Knoxville as the bell rings. Knoxville starts off with some back elbows to Devyn which send her backwards a bit, but Devyn answers with a DDT before going up top and flying onto the fallen Knoxville with a senton bomb. Devyn picks Jenni up, only to take her back down with a hurricanrana.

DOLAN: "The, ahem, Psycho Doll, Devyn Drezden is definitely on fire here tonight."
CASEY :"She's a.little weird, but I like her already! Go Dev!"

Jenni staggers to her feet and hits a couple of back elbows again, but Devyn kicks her in the gut, and delivers an Asai DDT!

DOLAN:"Um, I do have notes on the move..she calls it the 'Shattered Vanity'."
CASEY:"HA! Jenni Knoxville has got to be done after that!"

Devyn makes the cover as referee John Brown goes in to make the count

BROWN: "One!.....

"Two!......

"THREE!!!"

ROBIN: "Here is your winner......'PSYCHO DOLL' DEVYN DREZDEN!!"

COACH:"We'ah sendin' Barry to try and get a few woids wit' Devyn Drezden. Barry?"

#nosmileys#nosmileys

[Jared Steele]

Barry O is in the ring with Devyn Dresden

BARRY O:"Hello, BWF fans, I am your roving reporter Barry O, and I'm available for parties. I am standing here with the girl who calls herself the 'Psycho Doll', Devyn Drezden...Devyn, I have to ask..why 'Psycho Doll'?"

Devyn takes the mic from Barry, and begins to speak in a calm, softspoken voice

DEVYN: "Barry, my reasons for calling myself that go back to my youth....my parents always wanted me to be pretty, their pretty little girl, their litle doll...they always told me it was imprtant to be pretty, to be beautiful.....it got to the point where it was my drive in life, to be this human porcelain doll, this picture of beauty.....but, do you know what happenned Barry? Do you know what happenned?"

Devyn points to the scar by her eye

DEVYN: "This happenned, Barry. The accident. I was scarred...mutilated... ruined. I wasn't the pretty, porcelain doll anymore...I was ugly. A freak. And now, now I knew what my new drive would be. To take those pretty people, and make them suffer as I have... I'm not your porcelain doll anymore, Daddy..I'm the Psycho Doll. And the so-called beautiful people will see their true humanity, their true fallacy, their inner ugliness. Beauty is only skin deep, but vanity is forever. So it shall be at my hand."

Devyn drifts out of the ring as Barry O takes his mic back

BARRY O: (sarcastically) "Well, isn't she lovely?"#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys