Inu-Lesnar The Movie

[PTMidnite]

(Brock is sitting at the end of a long table in a broad room, random corporate types sit in the other seats)
Brock: I don't get why my ultimate fight was so anti-climatic and why all that bad stuff that we didn't even get to see had to happen?
Suit 1: Brock do you know anything about TV?
Brock: Well, the pictures move and stuff. And sometimes there's this infomercial about a stupid juicer on at night that really pisses me off.
Suit 2: You see you don't know anything. We wanted to end the season quickly so we could do a movie.
Brock: Me in a movie.
Suit 3: Yes, Inu-Lesnar The Movie. We want to strike while the irons hot because to put it nicely nobody will care about you dumb little show by next year.
Suit 4: We've completely thrown out the idea of a second season.
Brock: Your words don't make Brock happy.
Suit 5: The movie will most likely be a pile of crap so we're going to pay off some reviewers to give it a good buzz.
Brock: I'll take the show to a different network. I'll show you.
Suit 6: Sorry but we own the show not you.
Brock: I knew that I was hoping you didn't.
Suit 7: We want the movie done in three weeks because we all ready have a release date and don't want any of those damned internet movie sites to spoil the piece of shit before it hits the multiplexes.
Suit 8: You get 20 million dollars and you start making it now.
Brock: I don't know how to make a movie. Do you guys even have a script?
Suit 9: We did but we ran out of toilet paper. But this isn't about us so get started.
(Brock knocking on HHH's door, HHH opens)
HHH: What do you want-uh?
Brock: I sort of need you to be in my movie.
HHH: Look Lesnar I only do movies in which I star-uh. Make me the star and I'm in-uh.
Brock: I'm the god damned star.
HHH: Tough shit-uh.
(HHH slams the door)
Brock: If I kidnap a young girl maybe that Pianist guy will direct this movie.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock's backyard, Scott Steiner (with a witch's nose and fright wig) is standing in Brock's sandbox, Jamie Noble is tied up in the swings, Brock is filming with a digital camcorder)
Steiner: I smell the awful funk of talent on you Jamie Noble. So, I'll beat you up and make fun of minorities.
Brock: Cut! Quit adlibbing racist remarks.
Steiner: What? I saw the way HHH mocked Booker T. So genius I'm just getting into character.
Brock: I don't care. Just follow the script.
(Justin Credible comes running in)
Credible: Mr. Lesnar. Mr. Lesnar. I fell into poison ivy.
Brock: Get the hell away from me then.
Credible: But I need to be held by and adult.
Brock: You're like 27.
Credible: My daddy said I can't be an adult until I learn to go in the potty.
Brock: You're out of the movie.
Credible: Do I still get paid?
Brock: No.
(Credible runs away crying)
Brock: Back from the top.
Steiner: I smell the awful funk of talent on you Jamie Noble. So, I'll beat you up and go piss in the bushes.
Brock: Cut! You're adlibbing again.
Steiner: But, I'm really going to piss in you bushes after the take.
Brock: Just take five and go in the bathroom.
Steiner: What are you my father?
Brock: Just go do number one so we can get done.
(Steiner unzips and pisses right there)
Steiner: Done, now let's get back on with it.
Brock: We're done for today.
Steiner: Good because I got some freaks to please.
Brock: I don't want to know about you whores.
Steiner: Don't call the deformed children whores. I go there everyday to make them feel better and it's people like you that cause them pain.
(exit Steiner)
Noble: Can you untangle me?
Brock: The prop master will.
(The Stalker comes out of the sandbox)
Stalker: Who hides in the sandbox? The Stalker hides in the sandbox.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock and Rhyno are standing on the sidewalk)
Rhyno: What's my motivation?
Brock: You want to hurt Chris Benoit.
Rhyno: Why do I want to hurt him?
Brock: Because he has talent and HHH wants to kill all that could stand against him.
Rhyno: That's why HHH wants to hurt him but what about me?
Brock: Listen you work for him and you mangle people for him.
Rhyno: That's not a real reason to hurt someone.
Brock: Ok, he called you a cock eating fuck face and showed me pictures of him fucking your mother up the ass while strangling your puppy.
Rhyno: That fuck piece of shit!
(Rhyno jumps thru a window and is in a clothing store, someone with a Chris Benoit t-shirt and mask on is shocked to see him)
Rhyno: I'll fucking kill you!
(Rhyno gores him into a clothing rack and then beats him bloody with a barrage of punches, Brock comes in)
Brock: Stop!
Rhyno: Why?
Brock: I didn't even have the camera on.
Rhyno: But he fucked my mother up the ass!
Brock: I just told you that so you'd be motivated.
Rhyno: Oh. Sorry about the serve beating.
(the guy takes the mask off to reveal Barbedwire)
BW: I can see Jesus.
Brock: (Brock looks up to the sky) No you ain't getting him yet. I paid him for three days and damn it I'm getting those three days.
BW: No, I haven't seen your sandals.
TO BE CONTINUED

[PTMidnite]

(Brock Lesnar at a playground, Scott Steiner in the fright wig and witch's nose is standing on top of a big slide)
Steiner: You've came directly into my trap just like I HHH knew you would. Now attack my army of has-beens.
(Scott Hall, Jake Roberts, Tony Atlas, One Man Gang, and Koko B. Ware all come and attack Brock, Brock fake punches them all (I'm talking no where near hitting punches) and they fall to the ground, a yellow puddle forms under Hall)
Brock: You have to do better then that, big nose.
Steiner: How about this.
(Brock looks up and is shocked, cut to Barbedwire in a Brock mask getting squashed by a falling car, cut to a cardboard car, Brock rips thru the car and runs to the slide, cut to Brock being pulled up with a rope to the top, cut to Brock at the top but without the rope, Brock throws Steiner off the top, cut to Brock in a strip club getting a lap dance, zoom out to see Brock and the suits sitting in the boardroom)
Suit 1: You call that a movie.
Brock: What else would you call it?
Suit 1: Shit that's what.
Suit 2: Mr. Lesnar we gave you 20 million dollars and you couldn't make something better.
Brock: I figured all the money I didn't use I'd get to keep.
Suit 3: You're fired Brock.
Brock: Me fired.
Suit 1: Yes.
Brock: Fuck beans.
Suit 2: Leave right now or you'll be thrown out of the room by our head of security: The Berserker.
(Brock leaves)
Suit 1: We'll just stick Vin Diesel's head on his body and the kids will dig it.
Suit 2: But the movie's a piece of shit.
Suit 1: So was XXX and Fast and the Furious and they made money.
BROCK LESNAR WILL RETURN IN INU-LESNAR SEASON 2